With the extremely high cost of decent childcare in this country and the ongoing problem of women being unable to collect child support regularly, more and more single mothers are turning to prostitution in order to pay their bills and support themselves and their children. The internet has opened up new possibilities regarding prostitution, and gone are the days when women stood on street corners trying to earn a living. Classified ads and online personal sites are making it possible for both women and men to make arrangements to exchange money for sexual services.
One such woman discovered the solution to her financial problems on Yahoo Personals. My ex-husband was not paying child support for our four-year-old son, and I was getting desperate for money,” says Holly, 25. “I placed an ad on Yahoo looking for a sugar-daddy type of relationship and met a decent guy that was willing to help me out.”
Holly still sees this man, Greg, once a week and they have been meeting in local hotels for more than six months. She says they have become friends during this time, and the money he gives her as a “gift” in exchange for sex helps to supplement the low wages she makes working for a car dealership. She also states that she does not feel that the arrangement she has made with Greg should be classified as prostitution.
“After the first couple of meetings, the awkwardness went away. I don’t think I could start another relationship of this sort with someone else though.”
Monica, from Orlando, has turned these exchanges into a full-time job. She was working more than full time hours in order to support herself and her 20-month-old son, but bringing home only about 50 dollars a week after daycare, gas, and taxes. She now regularly “sees” four men, needs a babysitter for her son only 10-12 hours a week, and brings home close to 600 dollars every week.
“I worry sometimes about getting caught and about them taking away my son if I do, but what else am I supposed to do? My baby’s father hardly pays child support and the Florida child support system doesn’t seem to care. I tried working a 9-5 job and ended up practically homeless because I couldn’t pay my bills. I do what I have to do!”
There can be risks involved when meeting men online for any reason, however, as Danielle, 26, found out. “I had one guy decide he was in love with me, track me down, and show up at my front door.”
Danielle has two children, ages five and seven, and was searching for extra income after her divorce so she could save up money for a down payment on a house. She met a man on Craigslist.com, and they made arrangements to meet on their lunch breaks twice a week. She performed oral sex on him in exchange for money.
“The mistake I made was giving him my phone number, which I think is how he got my address.”
Fearing another appearance at her house by this man, she threatened to call the police and has since changed her email address and phone number. She hasn’t heard from him again, but says she will never enter into that sort of arrangement with another man out of concern for the safety of herself and her children.
Monica, the single mother from Orlando, said these meetings can be done safely if you take certain precautions. She advises women never to give out personal information, to use a free email service for communication, and to meet only at public locations.
“Some of the guys you meet don’t give out their real names either,” she said. Most of them are married, but some are also paranoid that the women they are meeting might really be crazy or might even be police officers.”
So who exactly are these men, and why are they willing to pay for sex? Based on conversations with a number of them online, approximately 80 percent of them are married, and nearly all of them are looking for a casual relationship with another woman that they can meet up with on their terms.
Brian, 48, has had an ongoing relationship with a 22-year-old woman he met on Matchdoctor.com. “She is sexy and fun and I enjoy having no strings sex with her and experimenting with things I can’t do with my wife. I don’t mind helping her out with her bills because I know she is struggling, and I don’t look at her like she’s a prostitute.”
Perhaps if the courts would spend more time enforcing child support payments and come up with a way to provide affordable daycare to single mothers, women wouldn’t have to be putting themselves at risk just to provide food for their families.
