In my piece, 4 Steps to Overcoming Codependent Relationships, I highlighted four steps (Let the truth be your guide; cut the cords; stand your ground, and take care that you are strong). All four of these steps are important to moving forward after the devastating effects of codependency. However, I wanted to expand further on the fourth step, where I encouraged you to take care to be healthy, or to learn how to be healthy.
I remember when I had done the first three steps and was entering the fourth step, I was really lost. I was lost while I was in a codependent relationship, but it didn’t hit me hard until later when I was looking at my life and deciding what I wanted to do with myself. and there were times that even if I knew what I wanted to do, I was at a loss as to how to begin. That’s why I decided to revisit this particular step in order to throw out some possible solutions to this step, which at least started you to think about what to do afterwards after you could get yourself out of a codependent relationship. These are just some suggestions you can make to start taking care of yourself.
Suggestion #1: Join a support group. Codependents Anonymous is an excellent group. You can check them out here – www.coda.org to see if there is a group meeting near you. Alternatively, there are many online support groups designed for surviving codependent relationships. If you can’t find one of these, start your own list or local group for codependents, I think you’d be surprised how many people actually participate in your support group.
Suggestion #2: Start Journaling. Start writing down your thoughts on a daily, weekly or biweekly basis, if you haven’t already started. You can print a newspaper or buy a snail mail. Just start jotting your thoughts and feelings in line and keep it. It is very easy to start a journal, but maintaining it is a challenge. Every morning or evening, set aside a few minutes and just sit and write. Scripture is a healing tool that should be brought to every situation so that you can cleanse yourself of all the negative feelings and self-talk that may be flooding you.
Suggestion #3: Use your resources. There are many books on the topic of codependency. Don’t be afraid to browse the “Self-Help” section of your local bookstore to see if there is a book anyone can pick up. your eyes May it be well with you. My personal recommendation is that you can heal your life by Louise Hay. There is also a movie version of this book now on DVD. While this book is not focused on codependency, it touches on many topics in the treatment of multiple personalities. That’s about the negative self-talk we’ve been doing for so many years. It’s worth the experiment.
Suggestion #4: Healing Your Temple. This is what I’m doing right now in the middle of it. While you are working within yourself, be sure to begin to take a hard look at how the pain within also reflects itself on the outside. You can do this by examining how you eat when it comes to emotions. You can do some exercise here and there. The movement helped me a lot when it came to my healing. I come to understand that it is not good to remain stagnant, whether emotionally, mentally, or physically. I have to do something moving at least 10 to 20 minutes a day, otherwise I feel completely out of balance. Although, this may not be true for you, it’s a good move, no matter what time you’re in.
Suggestion #5: Believe in the plan. Take some time one day – maybe thirty to sixty minutes and sit down with some paper and a pen and do some ideas and goals should suit you every month or two to three months. Be realistic with your goals, but don’t be afraid to dream big when it comes to achieving a higher outcome for your healing. Goals to carry you to a higher goal should be small and realistic. Make yourself at peace as you need. Be gentle, just in case you don’t make a fatal decision. And if morticians don’t work for you, stop using them. Look for your efforts in achieving your goals. Don’t try to plan every minute detail, but at least have a basic outline of what you want to accomplish in your new life.
I hope you feel this is a good start for you to consider starting some ways to take care of yourself now that you are no longer involved in codependent relationships. Even if you are still involved in a codependent relationship, we hope that this list of suggestions will assist you in creating a plan for you to move forward with your life without codependency.
