Note: Davy Crockett is not an American legend. He is an American legend. This stuff is done.
1. Davy received an independent series partly from his ancestors: “Crockett” is derived from Monsieur de la Croquetagne, master of the royal guard of the King of France Louis XIV Who was Croquetagne? Probably a cruel murder machine that had blown out that they were assassins, and taught what it tasted like a cold, sharp knife. Eventually, Croquetagne and his family converted to Protestantism and settled in Ireland, recognizing that if you want to get the name of a national hardcore man, it is better to be associated with the Irish than with the French. Davy’s paternal grandfather was killed by Indians, and his father was a mountain man who served in the Revolutionary War< /a>. This meant that the blood of Davy Crockett was already thick with lead, honor, and terror.
2. When Davy Crockett was 8 years old, when most children are content today. Playing video games and developing entitlement issues, Davy approached his father and said he wanted to go hunting with a gun. Davy’s father said that he could not destroy the web in “the shot of the children perished.” Davy promised that he would be the best pitcher in the history of mankind. His father shrugged his shoulders and handed over the items, knowing that his son’s words were his son-in-law’s.
3. When Davy Crockett was 13 years old, he got into a fight at school. You see, this was a bully who bullied the other students, so Davy decided to beat him almost to death. But his foresight outweighed his strength, and he realized that his father was going to be super pissed at him. So rather than go home, Davy spent three years wandering around Tennessee, during which time he honed his skills as a backwoodsman, hunter, raptor, ninja assassin, and all around American warrior groups. While most Americans let the teens are poppin’ hookahs and gettin’ their drivers, Davy Crockett is literally tearing the wolves apart with his own. using bare hands to film clothes.
4. When Davy was nearly 16, he came home, and his father gave his services to a guy named John Kennedy. While working in the Kennedy administration, Davy became interested in a girl named Margaret Elder. But once Margaret realized that she could never hope to tame Crokett’s wild heart, she ran away and married someone else. That fact determined that Davy was only born to work, misery, and disappointment. From that day on, Crokett decided that he would no longer be appeased by the innumerable advances of the fairer sex, and would rather devote his cold heart to the non-romantic pursuits of the air of manhood.
5. Well, actually, Davy finds time to get married and have a bunch of kids. But then he remembered that Davy Fricking Crockett had signed up with the Tennessee Militia, where he was immediately assigned to join the band that marched south into Alabama today and Battle in the Creek.
6. In the last 60 days, Davy Crockett has killed so many people that he decides the world needs a break from his killing and decides to try his hand at politics, despite the contempt of the current President, Andrew Jackson, about whom Crockett said, “No matter who is the great man in the White House.” Full of over-the-top political insanity that got him elected to the House of Representatives but being refreshed, he told them to serve faithfully as I had done, but if not … they all go to hell, and I will go to Texas.
7. Davy Crockett walked out of his Tennessee home, leaving his last wife and kids behind, wearing a hunting suit, coonskin hat, and carrying tools. By the time he arrived in Texas, he had made friends with 65 well-armed men who had joined him on his journey.
8. Davy Crockett participated in a small engagement called the Battle of the Alamo. It was fought after a long siege by the Mexican forces up close and personal for days. Davy Crockett drew his knife, and the only explanation that was derived from the Mexican soldier was that by the time Davy’s corpse was discovered it was surrounded by a pile of sixteen dead men. Mind you we only need one or two guys to kill more. Bring sixteen to Crockett.
9. Davy Crockett never wasted his words, and always said the most audacious thing ever uttered by mortal mouth. Here are some examples from Davy Crockett:
I’m the same Davy I’m Crockett, fresh from the backwoods, half-horse, half-alligator, a little touched turtles , cross the Mississippi, jump Ohio, to ride in a streak of lightning, honey locusts fall off without injury.”
“To the end… I am a horse. Goliath was a pretty tough chick but I could choke him. I can take off the cloth, frighten the old people, astonish the natives, and beat all the Dutch. Break it, don’t do anything while sleeping under a blanket of snow, and don’t freeze any more rotten apples be wise.”
“The assembly allows lemonade to the members, and has it loaded under the stationary head – I also move to suffer whiskey under the fuel. For I can suck bitter in the noggin of aquafort, sweet sulfur, moved by lightning. staff, and I am driven by a storm. head and shoulders soaked in my Salso, as much as I. Always corned. strangled, if you hang the head and ears back with butter.’
“Always know what’s right, then go for it.”
“I’m an archer, and I’ve got a nesting horse, and a beautiful sister, the surest guns, and the fiercest dog in the field…my father can beat any man in Kentucky and I can lick my father. I can beat anyone in this area, and give him a two-hour start.” I can run faster, dig deeper, stay under longer, and come out drier than some country swamp with a big tote steamboat on my back and play in the rough and rush with a lion, and sometimes get a kick from a zebra.”
