I am sometimes frustrated by the constant and seemingly ubiquitous misuse of certain words and phrases in the English language.
First, in part Alan Morissette’s greatest hits, “Ironic” irony is one of the most misunderstood and misused words in the English catalog. It is clear that most of this country is convinced that irony is simply a fantasy synonymous with “accident”. That is not.
Irony is the contrast between what is expected and what happens. When you expect something and the opposite happens, you have irony. It was somewhat ironic, for example, when the Pistons destroyed the NBA Lakers in the NBA Finals the past two years, when sports pundits almost unanimously predicted the opposite would happen.
It was ironic when the world two years ago caught Strom Thurmond, the candidate President of the United States of America on the ticket of the segregationist party above half a century running, he gave birth to a black woman’s daughter.
It would be ironic if you were a tall skinny man and you decided to play Mario with the Mario brothers on Halloween and then found out that you have a short, fat brother Aloysius was pleased.
Irony is often used in comedies, since it is so often unexpectedly funny in itself. Just imagine Homer Simpson sitting in a chair wearing a fine suit and “The New Yorker”. You shouldn’t laugh, but at least it should look silly.
Irony doesn’t have a thousand quirks when all I need is a knife and irony doesn’t suit the man of my dreams and then his beautiful wife (Morissette’s lyrics, not my words). Those are such unfortunate events, along with all the other incidents in the hiccup story.
One might throw out in the discussion that this is irony from some point of view. He could hold that he had a thousand unexpected tridents, and so by irony, when he thought he would run into some sword in a low line.
Well, I’ll have you one. However, I think it’s clear that this example, and whatever is in the song, mimics the irony/accidental confusion we’re dealing with here.
No smoking sign on your cigarette break, for example, is no ironic stretch. It is no longer business, when you are already late. Again, these are just everyday accidental bummers.
Another word, the misuse of which is widespread, is impulse. The word impact is synonymous with collision or effect and never the meaning of the word “to have an impact”. Replace it with “a,” and avoid the effect with “e,” which is a noun and not a verb, unless you refer to the effect of bringing something in. Like a word, impact is only related to the act of relating firmly to one. Impacted Wisdom Teeth, cannot be conceived.
Some of you reading this probably could care less. Well, if that’s what’s on your mind, I just hope your thinking is with the word “couldn’t” rather than “could”. Saying “I could care less” without a negative connotation obviously implies that you care more than you could, implying that you really do care.
Yet many people say “I could care less” for what they couldn’t. This is quite ironic, don’t you think?
