I was talking with a boy friend the other day and he brought up the subject of a mid-life crisis. His wife of ten years is 34 and has three small children. He seemed more or less unaware that many divorces were caused by the husband having a midlife crisis (MLC) around or after the age of 40. I mentioned my neighbor who passed away at 54 years old, and my friend laughed and jokingly said that her husband should not hit 40 and run away from his family.
The conversation passed on to other matters.
I was struck, however, by their completely reckless attitude. It was agreed that she could only imagine that her husband would always have a mid-life crisis and leave the family a> For her, it is a male mid-life crisis that happens to other people and the prospect of MLC hitting her family is completely removed. Only one of the other men will experience MLC, which he imagines. Only other women will be scattered by their husbands and leave their families.
The bad news is that MLC can happen to anyone – both men and women – and most often happens to middle-aged men with wives and families. The sequence is often followed by a breakup, and all pain is encountered in the broken family.
If you want to have a more detailed idea of how common and how destructive MLC can be, just visit the excellent web forum midlife.com. There, thousands of women like my friend, who think that MLC can never harm their families, tell of their disbelief when their husbands, who were previously safe or calm or loving, suddenly undergo strange personalities, behave in ways they never did before, leave the house, and often completely. they divorce their wives, children, friends, relatives.
During the middle male crisis, husbands may abandon the children they previously idolized. They can be extremely cunning and cruel to their wives. Many wives watch their middle-aged husbands start hanging out with new middle-aged friends, dress like young men and act like they’re going through a bad adolescence. Their interests and tastes can change suddenly and radically. It often becomes almost impossible to communicate with people in MLC as they become uncomfortable and often self-evident.
Often a person in the middle of a crisis will spend money recklessly, engage in risky behavior, buy himself a bright red sports car or Harley Davidson and ditch his younger wife, I often contact a colleague or an old flame on Facebook or through friends Reunite.
MLC is a serious and destructive problem and at its root is an acute identity crisis. Middle-aged people can and do experience mid-life crises and their MLCs can be as severe as those experienced by men. MLC, however, is much higher among middle-aged people.
A Midlife Crisis is a twisted version of the normal midlife transition
MLC tends to strike people in their late 30s or early-, mid-40s. He can even hit them in their fifties. No warning is necessary. This means that many women who have spent 20 or 30 years with a great husband and partner – the father of their children – can wake up, more or less one day, to hardly recognize themselves as dealing with a stranger.
Until it happens to you, you just don’t believe it’s possible.
For many people, midlife is a time to re-evaluate and judge their lives. For some people find any exercise hateful. Many young people’s hopes, especially in youth, are dashed by midlife. Ambitious plans came to naught. I was disappointed in my career. Middle life can generate the feeling that time – so generous in our youth – is starting to run out. These experiences are manageable for people with good or reasonably good mental and emotional health. Changes and combinations are possible. In the second stage of life — it adjusts to mid-life — and all is well. The transition phase in midlife is completely normal and just as natural as in adolescence. Meditation marks the end of what most people perceive as their youth and the beginning of a new, more mature period.
But the mid-life crisis is a completely different phenomenon. In MLC, life’s disappointments and frustrations are experienced as overwhelming and threatening. The end of youth provokes an identity crisis in which a middle-aged man (and sometimes a woman) struggles against being middle-aged.
We all know long-term, stable marriages that suddenly crumbled and ended in divorce when the couple reached their forties or forties. We all know that families spend an apparently happy happy overnight when the father/ man later starts an extramarital affair. he ran with his mistress. In the midst of a life crisis, in MLC, what accompanies it is a peculiar behavior and often a complete change in the personality of the child. Infidelity in itself – the existence of another woman – is not the definitive problem. But the film will present one of many new characters in an outdated way of life, a man in mid-life crisis, as he fears about old age, the loss of youth, identity and masculinity.
In the crisis of life, Morals become wildly out of character
When your husband or partner is in the middle of a life crisis, his taste will change in everything from food to music to women’s clothing. If you even find it difficult to speak, it is likely that you are expressing opinions that are the polar opposite of the opinions you had for the first four or five decades of your life. He will not see anything irrational in that. He is likely to want and seek excitement. Let the story speak in his life. At least he will want to change and tell you that he will sell your house, move to another continent, change in his life from the diameter or with Here he meets a married woman who has two or three children by another husband.
He is also likely to be concerned about his hair thinning, and if his body feels less muscular than when he was young. Whenever a person joins a gym or starts going to the gym, whether it’s around 40, 45 or 50, it’s a foreboding. They may tell you that they simply want to qualify, but there is often another MLC procedure. It can also be suddenly and strangely engaged in sex. When a man’s sexual behavior changes in midlife, it is often because he is in a midlife crisis (MLC) and has begun intimacy with another woman. He may make sexual demands that have never interested him before – or simply announce that he’s having an affair with someone else and look completely bewildered when his wife freaks out.
A husband during a crisis almost always has another woman. The other woman is useful because she is either young or simply new. This way he doesn’t know who the male MLC is. And therefore he can accept whatever he tells him about himself. For example, you may have been stable and married for 20 years and have 3 children. But if he tells his new, Other Woman that he’s a free spirit – a truly crazy person who listens to no rules – he can accept that. The MLC will take on a new identity, it is often reckless and always unstable. A male MLC will also often drink too much, experiment with drugs, engage in risky behavior and, if he has no money, run up dangerous debts.
At the mid-life crisis, people become extremely stressed. They develop a huge sense of entitlement. Even if someone has been the most loving husband and father for 20 years, once he goes into crisis, he will feel that he has absolutely nothing but himself and his own needs and desires. Surprisingly, he will not care one iota for his family, his wife, his kids or the wider world. For the man in MLCis suddenly all about him.
Even worse is the wife because, as the MLC husband destroys the marriage and the family, he will blame her in all his affairs. If he has a mistress, it is his wife’s fault. If he abandons his children, it is the wife’s fault. In MLC, if a husband does not get paid, he feels certain that it is his wife’s fault. People get irrationally angry in mid-life crisis and tend to rewrite the history of their marriage. They will often “find” that they were unhappy with their wives five years ago. Or ten years. Or twenty or thirty years. Since they are unable to destroy families through crime, MLC husbands often accuse their wives of slanderous accusations, which all lead to miserable long marriages. While wives of MLC husbands understand the MLC phenomenon, they are often shocked by the grenade that MLC throws at their marriages and families. They tend to think that their husbands are unique, that they are strange, and that perhaps their marriage is simply weaker and more fragile than they thought.
MLC cannot be stopped, and it cannot be ‘cured’
For many wives faced with the prodigious problem of MLC, the most urgent question is how to bring their previously kind and stable husband back to normal.
Unfortunately, the mid-life crisis is not the same. The man in MLC has a deep identity crisis. It doesn’t matter what anyone says to him, or complains to him, he will go through MLC as a teenager through a turbulent adolescence. No shortcuts. A man in MLC will not get any of the opportunities offered to him if he does not agree with the chaos in his head. To the outside world, to his wife, kids, family and colleagues, to make it clear that he was foolishly running away with a girl 30 years younger. Or it is clear that a gypsy 20-year-old woman leaves home to live, or runs away to get married. Thai, the prostitute is quite crazy. But to the human, in MLC, these choices seem perfectly rational and actually essential. Anyone who tries to argue against the election of the MLC is dismissed. Anyone who advises whether MLCer is against making a mistake is unknown.
One of the largest positive online resources for women whose husbands are in midlife crisis is midlifeclub.com. Women from all over describe their husbands’ personality changes during the crisis, share their experiences and offer support to each other. (There are also husbands, though fewer, who talk about their wives as MLCs.) When you hear these thousands of stories reviewed over time, you’re amazed at the similarities in the behavior of MLC men – right down to the vocabulary MLCers use. There are also people on the market who, in their mid-life crisis, explain how they fog their brains fogged with their brains were in these years MLC.
Understanding the point of crisis means that understanding helps you deal more effectively with your MLC partner. The best approach to a man’s mid-life crisis is to occupy yourself with you, not him. This is not what is immediately apparent. At first, it is instinctive to help a man who seems to be going mad, and who is about to throw away marriage, family, love, and property. But really, once your partner/husband is in MLC you can do nothing better than to leave him with him and try to protect yourself from the fallout that his MLC will inevitably generate. Without a doubt, the shadow will be gone for a while – and may never return as the person you knew and built your family. Once in MLC, the person you marry will go through a ‘personality earthquake’ and will never be the same again.
Some MLCers, however, emerge from the “fog” and reconciliation sometimes occurs between husband and wife. But partners often end up divorcing while the crisis is in full swing and the relationship has to start all over again from scratch if the husband emerges from his crisis. Many marriages permanently end in divorce and family breakdown due to the male mid-life crisis, with all the emotional, social and financial burdens that entails. Families lose their homes, children are abandoned, wives are suddenly left in midlife.
But whatever the outcome of the middle man crisis, an understanding of the MLC phenomenon can be a real help to the wife of a former husband in crisis. That is why I strongly recommend a visit to the midlife club midlifeclub.com If your husband suddenly has MLC and you are left reeling, you will find information and support on this site. When a man is in the MLC, only 2 possibilities for his wife / marriage. One is divorce; reconciliation is another. In either case you will benefit from the discussion on the midlifeclub.com forum. In the first case, because the divorce and rebuilding your life is hard to bear. And in the second case, because reconciling the fraud, the crisis in the middle of the husband’s life is equally difficult to tolerate.
