You just sat down to dinner, Ringgggg….. the damn thing goes off right on time. You know what it is, but just in case, you pick it up anyway. A threatening voice commands to talk to Mr. or Mrs. so and so, a couple you don’t know, have never known, and hope to hell you never meet. On the other hand if you met them, you know what you would do with that phone.
THE PERSISTENT COLLECTOR: It’s gone on for weeks, the first time it was once a day. You explain, there’s nobody by that name at this number. No matter, the next day the call comes in again. Every day it happens, then it gets upped to two, maybe three calls a day from the same company. No matter what you say, you can’t convince them you’re not the person they’re looking for. They will not now, or ever find those people at your number.
THE SWEEPSTAKE’S SCAM: You have won $250,000 from the Irish sweepstakes. The only problem is the money is tied up in an account in Nicaragua. If you give them your bank account number they will gladly forward your winnings directly into your bank account. Ya, and I just rode in on a turnip truck yesterday.
THE POLICE RETIREMENT ASSOCIATION: Donate for anything, and they all get your number. There must be a sucker list available to all possible charitable organizations. Lions Club, Garden Association, first time you try to do something nice for one group, they pay you back by selling their donor list to every half baked organization that’s willing to pay the price. Then watch the phone calls start.
COMPUTER GENERATED COLD CALLS: You answer and there’s a pause, then the computer comes on line. The sales spiel starts and immediately you slam the receiver back into its cradle.
FOREIGN TELEMARKETERS: Do they call from Pakistan, or India, no matter. With broken English they babble away. Clever they are, what they say holds your attention long enough that you miss the main article on the nightly news. Then you realize it’s just a sales pitch, and click, your gone.
REPETITIVE WRONG NUMBER: The random occasional wrong number happens to everyone. When you get calls from different people asking politely for the same unknown person, after a while it gets old. Eventually you start having conversations with these people. After all they are honestly trying to find someone, You ask them to please let that person know he/she is passing out the wrong number when they find him/her.
FRIEND OR RELATIVE LOOKING TO BORROW MONEY: Everybody has one, the relative or friend that is always a little short. Needs $50, just to carry them till payday. Only payday their nowhere to be found. It’s like pouring your money down a black hole, never to be seen again.
SERVICE UPGRADE CALLS: Yes you subscribe to the cable service, satellite company, or phone service. Apparently that makes it legal for them to ignore the No Call list, you’re already a customer. That gives them the right to hound you to upgrade to the next level of service, for the small fee of $XX they can give you such a better offer.
WORK MAKING DEMANDS: Everyone at one time or another works for a company or individual that demands your attention. Usually when you’re the least interested in giving it. They call in the wee early hours for you to come in 2 hours early. Ruining your Saturday, just when you had plans with the family. The reason’s don’t matter, it’s the interruption of your personal life that matters.
COMPUTER GENERATED THREAT CALLS: My personal favorite, it starts with a computer threatening that they must talk with an unknown person. They demand that this is a call requiring URGENT ACTION. It goes on to say AT THE TONE PRESS ANY NUMBER AND A QUALIFIED REPRESENTATIVE WILL COME ON THE LINE. Then the tone, a loud screech, so loud you hold the phone away from your head.
You hang up, but they call back. This goes on for a couple weeks, the calls increase to 4-5 times a day. Finally you’ve had enough. Thinking if you can talk to a real person you can get them to stop. The next call you finally press a number to stop the screeching noise, hoping to talk to a real person. The line goes dead, no person, no computer, just dead.
After thinking about it, you remember about an article in the news. A phone scam where if you press a number the calling party can download your phone account and will charge thousands of dollars of charges to your account. Time to call Qwest and register a complaint. After a short conversation they track the number from your caller I.D.. It goes back to some kind of off shore financial organization operating in Miami.
They flag your account for unauthorized charges for the next month, and as a preventative measure you’re issued a new phone number. Finely, your sanity is returned. As you probably guessed, I have indeed experienced this scenario, as well as most of the others listed.
Thinking my problems have at last been solved, I get on the Internet, and promptly register my new number on the Do Not Call List. Then I kick back in the recliner to watch the news. Ringgggg… another call, it’s some Mexican guy looking for Jose, here we go again.
