As I was growing up I had a vision of what I wanted to achieve in life. Career days at school, work experience placements and a management training day were all incorporated into my secondary education. My teachers wanted me to become a successful businesswoman and achieve my full potential. I wanted to do well too, but I had never considered becoming a housewife. My Mother had been a housewife and was always home when we got home from school. I took it all for granted. But I did not think I could do it as well.
After I left school I went to university and achieved my goals. Then I worked for several years. I recently became a housewife. I have to admit that I am still adjusting to the role. I did not imagine that I would be cleaning, tidying up or cooking as much when I got married. I thought a job would take priority. I was envious of friends who had been raised in South Africa. By local standards they were wealthy and their parents would routinely hire a housekeeper to take care of the cooking and all the household chores. I thought that was a wonderful idea and I dreamed of having a housekeeper too! But I have come to realize that this is never going to happen. I am left doing it all while my husband goes to work each day. I do not really mind taking care of the house. It is so unlike a conventional job where you have to be in the office by a certain time. You work, you have lunch, you work some more and then you clock off, and get home exhausted. That was basically my routine when I worked. At the time, I longed to have more time to myself. Now I have it and I wish I was at work again! As a housewife, you do not have a set time to make a start on your chores for the day, unless you are super efficient and are up with the birds each day. Perhaps that would give each day more structure if all housewives decided to be up at the same time each day.
Housewives or househusbands are faced with a real struggle when they stay at home, to either care for children or just the home, if the couple have no children. It is easy for others to dismiss our role as a hobby and not a real job. After all, we do not get paid for the jobs we do and we do not receive any particular recognition from society. I was recently asked by an insurance broker what I did for a living and I told him I was a housewife. He said it was a commendable and worthwhile profession. I wondered if he really meant it. I did not feel as if I was doing a particularly “commendable and worthwhile” job. Whatever happened to my grandparents’ day when the wife routinely stayed at home to care for children and the home? Did she feel that she had a job that gave her satisfaction and meaning? I’ve read about the ideal 1950’s housewife who kept an immaculate house, wore full make up and dressed beautifully and was still able to devote all her energies to her husband when he got home from work. How did she do it? I must be missing something! Our modern day society has given us so many gadgets and devices that are supposed to make our lives easier and more efficient. Yet we still have to deal with stress and does the job get done any quicker? I’m not so sure it always does.
It is commendable that some people are able to stay home and provide a nurturing, warm home environment for their spouse. Some husbands really appreciate the fact that their wife is home when they get there and a meal is ready for him. She can help him unwind and they can discuss their day together. I am trying to provide that environment for my husband because I know he works very hard and looks forward to coming home and relaxing. Staying at home is not easy and without some words of encouragement it can seem as if you are not really valued for the job and services you provide. Try to find ways to enrich your life more. Do you have a hobby that you enjoy? Crafts are a great way to spend the day as well as a keep fit routine. Taking a two mile walk is likely to give you more energy and motivation to start cleaning the house. My outlet is writing and socializing with family and friends. I love company and being around people. I could not spend all of my time on my own. So spend time with others who can be an encouragement to you and accept the compliments your husband gives you on a job well done. Being a housewife or househusband really is an undervalued job in society. But do not undervalue yourself. You still have your own unique talents and accomplishments. Build on these and you will find more joy in your role in society and within your family.
