Who me? Relapse? No way. Not in a million years. I’ll never drink again as long as I live! I’ll never use again, ever! No way do I want to go through that hell again. Sound familiar? Are you affected by addiction? Do you have a loved one that is affected by addiction? If so, these refrains are all too familiar. Relapse in addiction and recovery is the norm, not the exception. I hope to speak intelligently about relapse in addiction and recovery in this article. Unfortunately, some of this will be from my own personal recovery efforts and how relapse interfered with my recovery from my addiction to alcohol.
There are actually trains of though that tell us that relapse is part of recovery from addiction. Unless you yourself suffer from an addiction, it is hard to understand all that goes with being addicted. The not drinking again or not going back out and using are only the beginning of recovery. Abstinence from our drugs or alcohol is just a starting point. The rest is the really hard part…learning a whole new way of life.
Addiction is a chronic relapsing disorder. There are studies that show that 54% of all drug using and alcoholic patients will relapse.1 It is not unusual for addicts to relapse within one month following treatment, nor is it unusual for addicts to relapse 12 months after treatment; 47 percent will relapse within the first year after treatment.2 The sad fact of the matter is that most people will relapse when things seem to be going well, rather than when things are not.3 Recovery is a life long process, not a one time event. I have learned this the hard way by having several relapses of my own. Relapse seems to take place just when things seem to be going well; when we might let our “guard” down. Relapse is not an automatic sentence to a lifetime of drinking or drugging. It is a stumbling block, upon which we must build all over again.
Some documented reasons why relapse occurs show just what a powerful and complex creature it is. The research shows that alcoholics tend to relapse when feeling the sting of negative emotions. When emotions do occur, the normal reaction is to be afraid. The gut feeling is that I must be doing something wrong in my recovery program if I feel this afraid4 . Fear and resentments are the number one offender to an alcoholic. There are many every day occurrences and conditions which can trigger a relapse. These include, but are not limited to, inadequate skills to deal with social pressure, frequent exposure to “high-risk situations” that have led to drug or alcohol use in the past; our own insane thoughts to test our capacities and see if we would still be affected if we take just one or two drinks5(there is no such thing as one drink for the alcoholic), bad moods, negative thoughts or worse yet…positive thoughts and celebrations.
And I can tell you from personal experience that relapse is a certain path to a devastating emotional crisis. You really do not have a full understanding of what you have put your loved ones through. You get an abundance of shame,guilt,remorse and regret. I also came to learn from my friends in the program(AA), that relapse is not a sudden occurrence. We usually do not even have a desire or a craving to drink. What happens is that the drink is the last step of the relapse. Relapse actually begins after a period of of some sort of irrational thinking that began at some earlier point of time took place. That is why going to AA meetings are a must for me. And I will tell you why.
1) Going to an AA meeting helps keep me sober.
2) Get there early and start introducing yourself to others that are there.
3) Talk with them and share your story, tell them your fears and concerns.
4) Others before you have went through the same things.
5) They can tell you what it was like for them and then what they did about it.
6) Exchange phone numbers and call these numbers.
7) It is by attending meetings, sharing, calling your network that people get to know you.
8) You slowly become confident in talking to these people and gaining their trust.
9) When you have a crisis or irrational thought, use the phone and talk to someone that knows what you need.
10) When I go to a meeting, I have hope…Hope that I can recover despite the obstacles in my life, just like the other people in that room.
I can honestly say today, I have more friends than at any other time in my life. I have a big network of men and women who care about me and what happens to me. I have a program that gives me a formula to get well and stay sober…The Twelve Suggested Steps of AA. I have hope and the benefit of other peoples’ experience and strength. I have people who have been through the same things I have been through or worse. They will never condemn me for what I did. They will embrace me as a person that has a disease and is trying to get better. I also have a very important element in my life that I did not have before and that is a spiritual relationship with God as I understand Him to be and I can always talk to Him and ask for guidance.
There are many things that can be taken from this article. There is certainly much more to recovery than I covered here. But I believe that AA is the key. Yes, there is medical treatment and I utilized that too. I went to in patient rehab at Glenbeigh. I followed that up with intense out patient therapy and the after care program. They are a fine facility and have the most comprehensive recovery plan that I could find. I still relapsed. I returned for more out patient therapy. But recovery is more than medical help and counseling. It is a daily commitment to sober living. It is the willingness and desire to admit when you feel resentments, anger, frustrations, guilt, lack of gratitude or shame. It is not easy being honest enough to recognize these character defects and be willing to immediately face up to them.
On my own, I cannot do it. I am not able to trust my own thinking. I need to reach out to my sponsor or another friend in the program. I need to take action immediately, whether it is just talking or going to a meeting or making an apology. And God forbid, I must realize that I have to do this one day at a time, pray every day, talk to my friends in the program every day, go to meetings and to help others around me.
So that are my thoughts and some facts that I referenced. I hope that my experience, strength and hope can be of use to you. Everyday I pray for the sick and suffering who are both in and out of the rooms of AA. I also know that it is of utmost importance to forgive yourself for whatever wrong you feel that you committed. Remember, since God has forgiven you, then you can forgive yourself.
REFERENCES:
1) www.relapse-prevention.org/user-news.htm?id=163
2) Simpson, Joe & Lehman 1986
3) “A Look At Relapse”, Charles W. Crewe, revised edition 1974-1992 by Hazelden Foundation
4) “A Look At Relapse”, Charles W. Crewe, revised edition 1974-1992 by Hazelden Foundation
5) www.relapse-prevention.org/user-news.htm?id=163
