Napoleon Dynamites: My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was going to fly for the dance but she couldn’t do that any model now.
Pedro: Is it hot?
Napoleon Dynamite: Take a look.
[Deb hands over a sample shot of the villain]
Pedro: Wow.
Napoleon Dynamites: Yeah, I took it as a man to shout some insults at him birthday one. year
Pedro: I like her skirts.
Napoleon Dynamite: Me too. Uncle Rico: Napoleon, you know we can’t afford the fun package. What do you think money trees is born in this family? I’ll take it! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you’re there.
Uncle Rico: I don’t want you to look at me like that, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamites: I wish you would get out of my life and include me!
Uncle Rico: I’m gonna tell you somethin’ amen now. While you’re there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your uncle Rico is makin’ 120 bucks.
Napoleon Dynamite: I could make a lot of money in five seconds!
Merchant: Geez. I remember correctly, Napoleon. I did the same today with 75 lions.
Uncle Rico: Napoleon, it’s like you don’t have a job. So go out there and feed Tina.
Napoleon Dynamites: Why don’t you eat rotten dirt!
Napoleon Dynamite: What kind of bike do you have?
Pedro: It’s a sledgehammer.
Napoleon Dynamite: Dang! You have crops, sticks… lucky! Does anything sweet ever jump out?
Napoleon Dynamite: [jumping to Pedro] You have like three feet of air at that time.
Napoleon Dynamite: Pedro, how do you feel about that one?
Pedro: It looks nice.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, he looks pretty sweet. It looks awesome. That suit is incredible.
Napoleon Dynamite: Why do you have something like this on your hood?
Pedro: Well, when I came home from school, my head started to get really hot. So I drank some cold, but nothing. So I lay in the bath for a while, but then I realized that my head was making it hot. So I went into the kitchen and cut it all off. I don’t want to see anyone.
Napoleon Dynamite: I know what you mean.
Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent time with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolves!
Don: Did you send any?
Napoleon Dynamites: Yes, like 50 of em! My cousins were trying to attack me, what the heck would you do in such a situation?
Don: What kind of guns do you use?
Napoleon Dynamite: A freakin’ 12-gauge, what do you think?
Uncle Rico: So what do you think?
Merchant: Pretty cool, I think.
Uncle Rico: Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time. would you like to abolish the republic?
Napoleon Dynamite: This is pretty much the worst video ever made.
Merchant: Napoleon, as everyone knows.
Uncle Rico: You know what, Napoleon? You can leave.
Napoleon Dynamite: You guys are retarded!
Napoleon Dynamite: Grandma just called and said you’re supposed to go home.
Uncle Rico: She didn’t tell me anything.
Napoleon Dynamites: Too bad, he says, he doesn’t want you here when he gets back, because you’re ruining everyone’s lives and eating all our meat.
Uncle Rico: I’m not goin’ anywhere, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: Get off my luck!
Rich Uncle: It’s free from borders. I can do whatever I want.
Napoleon Dynamite: Get off my luck or I’ll call the cops on you.
Uncle Rico: Well then, do it! Anger!
Napoleon Dynamite: Maybe I want to, GOS!
Napoleon Dynamites: You know, it’s like a group game in this school. This one band wanted me to join because I’m pretty good with the staff.
Deb: Are you still running for president?
Pedro: Yes. I don’t understand… they say you’re not allowed to have pinatas that look like real people, but in Mexico, we do it all the time.
Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamites: A liger.
Deb: What light?
Napoleon Dynamite: My pet is the most beautiful. Like a lion and a tiger, she is mixed with her magic skills.
Napoleon Dynamite: I see you drank 1%. Is it because you think you are fat? ‘You are not the reason. You could drink the whole thing if you wanted.
Napoleon Dynamite: Deb just called me. She almost hates me now.
Pedro: What?
Napoleon Dynamites: Because my uncle Rico is stupid.
Pedro: Do you have something to give him?
Napoleon Dynamite: No. Not unless he likes fish.
Uncle Rico: We also need some way to look official, as we got all the answers.
Merchant: How do some gold bracelets last?
Uncle Rico: We need to get some name tags with our icon on it, all the plates and what not. I mean we gotta read here man.
Kip: It’s true, it’s true.
Randy: Napoleon, give me some of your tots.
Napoleon Dynamite: No, go ahead, you’ll find yours.
Randy: Come on, give me some of your tots.
Napoleon Dynamite: No, I’m freakin’ dead! I did not eat anything today.
