While many of us are in the old “spare the staff and spoil the child” sensibilities, parenting has taken a gentler approach to raising children over the past two generations. Parents more and more people in corporal punishments, such as FAR or singing, are turning to various non-physical punishments, such as grounding, loss of privileges or time, as a means of controlling various situations. But when some parents feel their hands are tied and they find themselves indisciplining their children and they so they prefer they will often be used for passive development in an attempt to recover. Many people don’t even know it, but passive-aggressive parenting is a problem that is on the rise. Unfortunately, it often has the greatest negative effect on the children who are its victims.
What is passive-aggressive parenting?
In the beginning, passive-aggressive behavior personality disorder was thought to be passive, but, more recently, it has become. There is much controversy as to whether it is an actual personality disorder or if the pattern is actually defensive. Rather than being independent of passive aggressiveness, they often arise in situations where the child was raised by alcoholic, co-dependent or abusive parents. Raised in an environment where it is dangerous or potentially unacceptable to show anger, these children learn to repress negative emotions, diffusing them over time. As they grow into adults, however, they cannot cope with this negativity and find ways to control others and engage in abusive, avoidance practices. In many cases this leads to a passive-aggressive personality.
Passive-aggressive parents can be the result of growing up in such a way of life, so that they develop it freely or, in some cases, adopt a purely passive-aggressive attitude, because they are unsure of how to obtain discipline or control of their children. their day lives on today. Passive, aggressive parents have a strong need for control and dominance, often abusing their family or forcing them to follow their rules. If things don’t go away, they often make excuses, create chaotic situations or even resort to victimization to gain control of the situation. Needless to say, this is not only very stressful for your home, but very psychologically damaging to the child.
10 Things Passive Aggressive Parents Do
According to the book of Dr. Scott Wetzler’s “Live with a passive-aggressive person” has 11 different answers to help you identify passive-aggressive behaviors. Many of these characteristics are often seen even in the passive-aggressive parent. Here are some examples of how Dr. Wetzler applies a list of characteristics to the passive aggressive parent;
Obstructionism: Obstructionism is a popular punishment tool in passive-aggressive parenting. By procrastinating on important things (usually things that the child wants or needs), the parent can exercise their power and dominance into a child By keeping the child dependent on their response and providing no time or definite outcome, they can maintain control over things, manipulating the child into the behaviors they want.
Creating chaos: Exasperating or feeding in chaotic situations is another common concept for passive-aggressive parenting. A passive-aggressive parent can assert his own form of control and dominance by creating chaotic situations. Keeping the rest of the family unstable and uncertain often seems like they are the only ones who can make sense of the situation. As they alone are more capable of managing this drama, they keep the rest of the family’s feelings unbalanced and shaky, often making them more dependent on the passive-aggressive parent.
Emotional distance: Passive-aggressive parents often seem emotionally distant and withdrawn. It’s not that they hate their parents or don’t care about them – most passive-aggressive parents care deeply. However, many people who are passive aggressive often have a strong fear of dependence or suffering from an addict. They will often hold back from afar, saying that they will leave their child as soon as they turn 18 and often hide their insecurities under the guise of teaching the child about independence and the real world.
Fear of competition: Since many passive and aggressive parents have a fear of competition, they often avoid activities that they feel pits them against other parents. If there is a chance that they will look bad or come in second best, either to their children or to the public, they will avoid any risk of competition. This can get people to the house, get involved with the local P.T.A. and other parenting groups, or even something as simple as having excuses for not participating in a bake sale or other fiscal event.
Excuses: Coupled with the fear of competition, many passive-aggressive parents tend to make frequent excuses. Be that as it may, they don’t participate in any team activities or, if they can’t find a solution, they even make excuses as to why the behavior is sub-standard. Parents will offer the most aggressive excuses possible before admitting something that can’t be right.
Tardiness/forgetfulness: Always being late or forgetting things that are important to child are common characteristics in the passive – aggressive parent Being oblivious to things or running late can further exert power over the child, keeping them unstable, uncertain and expectant. This is a common reason in which many parents punish their families.
Ambiguity: When the vagrant deliberately helps the passive-aggressive parent feel they are maintaining control. By preventing these parents from opening up and turning into cryptic messages or ambiguous comments, older parents can protect their children through uncertainty. This also causes him to avoid guilt, since there is nothing concrete to contain in things.
Victimization: Passive-aggressive parents often resort to victimization. A passive-aggressive parent will never accept that they, as parents, can do something wrong or make mistakes. If they sense a change in the direction of the move, they often argue that the shooter can become bored and charged with things. Playing the victim and ignoring one’s own weaknesses are common characteristics often seen in passive-aggressive parents.
Sulking: Moaning and moaning are also gestures that are commonly seen in passive-aggressive parents. Usually accompanied by something known as the guilt trip, passive-aggressive parents try to change their children behavior. or making them feel guilty in performing their duties. Rather than projecting anger or child anger, they put it out for themselves and say, “Go ahead and do it. This is meant to < a href="https://e-info.vn/tag/parent-child">make children feel bad for hurting or upsetting their parent, changing their behavior into guilt.
Does the Rod spare the child?
While some people promote a more passive approach to parenting, passive-aggressive parenting creates a more harmful, rather than healthy, situation for the child. Studies have shown that children who are raised in a passive-accusing environment often have trouble identifying their own emotions and coping with anger or other powerful emotions. Unable to express themselves properly, and unsure how to deal with negative emotions, they often take their feelings back and resent them, growing into adults who are often vindictive or have abusive tendencies. For this reason, it is important to raise children to learn to confront and deal with anger and other emotions, thereby breaking the passive-aggressive parenting cycle.
Granted, this does not mean resorting to corporal punishment and spanking to deal with disobedient children. What is this word? It is important that we raise them so that they can grow up to be happy, well-adjusted adults.
Sources:
http://guiltedgirls.tripod.com/id23.html – Information about passive-aggressive behavior
http://passiveaggressive.homestead.com/patraits.html – Passive-aggressive brand information
