Detective Elliot Stabler is played by Christopher Meloni in the long running Law & Order: Special Victims Unit television series. Detective Stabler is known for his devotion to duty and his willingness to bend to the rules of justice. There are several of these excellent quotes. Included below are lines from Detective Olivia Benson by Mariska Hargitay, Detective John Munch by Richard Belzer, Detective Odafin “Fin” Tutuola played Ice-T, Captain Donald Cragen played Dann Florek, M.E. Melinda Warner played Tamara Tunie, Dr. George Huang played B.D. Wong, and Anthony Anderson played Detective Lucius Blaine.
M.E. Melinda Warner: No liquids are present. Tests show that spermicide is common in condoms.
[M.E. removes an organ from the body]
Det. Elliot Stabler: This is fun.
Offic: A bunch of spies spotted from the roof there.
Det. Olivia Benson: Do you miss seeing the stars?
Offic: It is more pleasing to be distinguished from other celestial bodies.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Never got a merit badge.
Det. Olivia Benson: One night on your bachelorette and you go to the grocery store? That’s lame.
Det. Elliot Stabler: A shop with strippers.
[Threats of death]
Det. John Munch: That’s why none of my four ex-wives ever made good on their threats. He will possess nothing.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Except for your Warren memorabilia commission.
Det. Olivia Benson: got a wedding ring, is he married?
Det. Elliot Stabler: Trust me, couples don’t have sex in parks
[Detectives Stabularius and Benson want to interview the Chinese woman]
Det. Olivia Benson: It could take hours to track down an interpreter.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Doc, can you translate?
Dr. George Huang: What, please, I speak Chinese?
Det. Elliot Stabler: No, I heard you order to go out once.
Det. Elliot Stabler: How many hookers have you ever seen choke someone with hotpants?
Det. Olivia Benson: Elliot, these aren’t hotpants, they’re leggings, you wear them to the gym.
Det. Elliot Stabler: So we’re looking for a clown who works?
Det. Olivia Benson: Bye. I am a regular monk.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Monachette.
Det. Olivia Benson: Half of my genes are drunk and the other half is violent and cruel.
Det. Elliot Stabler: And look how far you got away.
Det. Olivia Benson: Her dirty laundry is cleaner than all my clothes. Behold, they are all labeled: white, colored, drying.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Anything marked ‘bloody clothes’?
Det. Olivia Benson: Three fires, he said, he could enter through the stove.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Maybe we should look for the guy in the red suit.
Det. Olivia Benson: Entering the wound from behind. Flees.
Det. Elliot Stabler: That’s what usually happens when you’re looking down the barrel of a gun.
Det. Olivia Benson: Kidnapped to prison.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Oh well, warn me to mourn later.
[After the battle]
Det. Lucius Blaine: Sorry about your shirt.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Sorry about your face.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Doc, I saw the art in your office, and I was uncomfortable with how many phallus were available.
Dr. Preston Blair: You’re a bourgeois American, completely clueless about sex. This is what you raise your children with screws, and turns them into delinquent sex.
Det. Elliot Stabler: You’re losing me to ‘bourgeois’.
Dr. George Huang: Are you playing, Elliot?
Det. Elliot Stabler: Only at birth control.
Sebastian Ballentinus: I am Sebastian Ballentinus.
Det. Elliot Stabler: With Sebastian Ballentine?
Sebastian Ballentine: Did you hear me?
Det. Elliot Stabler: No.
Capt. Donald Cragen: Take it with you.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Are you offering me my partner?
Capt. Donald Cragen: I’m not that type.
Det. Elliot Stabler: I’d have better luck with the guy. Women leave me.
[On the sperm sample]
Perp: I can’t do this.
Det. Elliot Stabler: What are you fighting with your right hand? Of course you can
Det. Fin Tutuola: Hey, I heard you had the best agent in town?
Viener Man: The best.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Well, Bad Girls Club thank you no big thang.
Offic: We called the interpreter.
Det. Olivia Benson: I can speak Spanish, French and three others. What is?
Det. Elliot Stabler: Deaf.
Necrophiliac: Surely he told you what a miserable failure I was.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Yeah, he did this, and we had a good laugh at your expense.
Capt. Donald Cragen: You know what, Elliot, you’re good and one hell of a cop, but God knows how Olivia’s going to put up with you that long.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Oh… Hello, holy Olivia.
Det. Elliot Stabler: I think I’m meeting Kathy for drinks tonight. I go back to myself.
Det. Olivia Benson: When?
Det. Elliot Stabler: I’m not sure, that’s why we decided to drink.
Capt. Donald Cragen: Do you know why I’m giving Blaine up with you?
Det. Elliot Stabler: Have you started drinking yet?
Suspect: I swear I never laid a hand on him.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Right, your tadpoles are like swimming.
Sid: [To Det. Olivia Benson] You’re quite the dancer.
Det. Olivia Benson: Thank God Sid.
Sid: [To Det. Elliot Stabler] You are not.
Det. Elliot Stabler: It’s a cross I bear.
Det. Elliot Stabler: Eternal damnation is not a capital thing
Another lesson:
“Best Law & Order Jack McCoy Quotes
Best Law & Order of Lennie Briscoe Quotes
Best Law & Order SVU Olivia Benson Quotes
Best Law & Order SVU John Munch Quotes
Best Law & Order SVU Fin Tutuola Quotes
Sources:
“Law and Order: SVU Quotes”, TVLoop
“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Quotes, IMDB
“Detective Olivia Benson Quotes”, IMDB
“Detective Odafin “Fin” Tutuola”, IMDB
“Detective Elliot Stabler”, IMDB
livi_wells, “SVU Best Quotes”, Fanpop
“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”, IMDB
“Law and Order”, IMDb
Report:
- www.associatedcontent.com/article/6097424/best. /a>
- www.associatedcontent.com/article/6097448/best. /a>
- www.associatedcontent.com/article/6097460/best /a>
