Being a high school student in the mid-90s was a terrifying experience. The constant threat of school shootings and bomb threats were a daily reality for this 1999 graduate. Watching as thousands of students in school similar to our own were being gunned down by their peers kept us constantly on the look out for those who might be the next mass murderer.
Studies have been done to get down to the bottom of what was making these kids actually kill people, and all the studies pointed to bullying as a main cause. (See report on the Prevention of Targeted Violence in Schools) . Despite that simple fact, bullying continues in the school and education professionals still aren’t taking it seriously.
How do I know this? Simple – my son is a victim. Even at 8 years old he knows what a bully is, and has told everyone that will listen about the child who constantly picks on him. The school makes no attempts to deny it either. We’ve been told this other kid “picks on everyone” over and over again, without any real solution to the problem aside from a weak attempt to “separate them”. Apparently in our school district being a bully is acceptable as long as you sit quietly and follow directions the majority of the time. These reports aren’t isolated either – schools all over the nation are turning their backs on these poor kids.
School violence is not the only threat from bullying. Victims of bullying also suffer short term and long term effects including depression, behavior and emotional disorders, suicidal attempts, lower grades in school, and low self-esteem. (See Long Term Effects of Bullying). The bully is literally destroying our children one by one, yet no one seems to be stopping them.
So what can we do as parents to better protect our kids and help them become the strong adults they should be? Quite a bit actually!
– Change Schools
While this won’t solve the problem if there is a new bully waiting at the next school, it will help if you know the school is serious about bullying. Talk with other parents in the new school district to see how it’s handled, and if they really are DOING something instead of just blindly saying “we take it seriously”.
– Homeschool
Probably the clearest solution to the bullying problem. If your children are completely removed from the school, there is no daily bully. Granted you can’t protect them forever or from other social situations, but you can reduce the amount of attack to almost zero.
– Involved Law Enforcement
If the school isn’t doing a thing, involve the police. Assault is illegal, period. If your child is an obvious victim of abuse, then file charges. Mental abuse can be harder to prove, but physical can be a bit easier.
– Get Counseling
Probably the most crucial step you can make if your child has been bullied. Regardless how long your child has been a victim, take them to a counselor. Reverse the damage that has already been done, and help them deal with any future bully they may encounter in their life. Kids especially need to know that someone believes them and is taking it all seriously. They also need help realizing they really are a valuable individual.
Make no mistake that bullying is a very serious problem with very serious effects. If your school district isn’t taking it seriously it’s time for YOU to take action. More information and resources on bullying can be found at Stop Bullying Now!.
