The day the blue line appears on the stick is when your life as a husband will begin to change. There are plenty of books that describe how to deal with your first child, but there aren’t as many books that let you know how you are supposed to deal with your newly pregnant wife. And before you believe it’s not going to happen to you, you’re wrong.
The Trimester Flow – Fathers-to-be, let me just say that over the course of the 9 months that your wife is pregnant, you can just disregard all that you think you know about her. I never knew how much a woman’s body and mind change during pregnancy. There is nothing you can do either, except “go with the flow.” The first trimester, the woman will begin showing a little baby bump, more or less like she ate an extra burrito and is a little gassy. So, physically everything seems to be the same, but for many women their sexual drive drops, her emotions become more unstable, and her body is constantly exhausted. This means it becomes the daddy’s job to take care of all the chores the wife normally did.
The second trimester is the fun trimester. This is where your woman comes back. Her energy is back to normal, it might even be a little higher. My wife spent several nights cleaning, doing laundry, baking until midnight. The first trimester, she was passed out on the couch by 9pm most nights. Her sex drive is heightened as well. Enjoy it while it lasts because it won’t be long ’til she’s back to being tired.
That’s where the third trimester comes in. This is like the first trimester except worse. The reason is now the woman is as tired as she was, as emotional as she was, and she is so big that it is hard for her to get around. Be ready to help her up every time she’s down. Imagine adding a 30 pound beer belly in a matter of a couple months. It might be hard for you to get around as well. This will take you all the way up to the due date.
The Emotional Roller Coaster – I am sure all women are a little different during pregnancy with the extents of their emotions, etc, but here are a few things that I have seen, heard, and read to be pretty true. First, she is going to feel huge. I once made a reference to how my wife looked a little like Godzilla by the way she bent over and tried to pick up our little dog. It was very robotic and looked like a Japanese Anime motion. I was completely joking, but I never heard the end of it. So, DO NOT MAKE ANY JOKES ABOUT HER SIZE. That may seem obvious, but jokes that used to be OK are now off-limits. Play it safe for 9 months, don’t joke about the pregnancy. Also, don’t joke about the stretchy waste-banded pants she’s going to have to wear. Although they do look funny….keep it inside. It’s not worth the consequences.
I think all men find it hard to understand women, especially what they’re thinking and being pregnant makes it even harder. After all, how can you understand someone that doesn’t understand themselves. You’ll have to learn to have patience and realize she is only acting that way because of the hormones. My wife had only cried a couple of times since I had met her. While she was pregnant, she cried at least once a week. She rarely was mad at me prior to pregnancy, but I couldn’t do much right while she was pregnant. She expected me to make the decisions, but then wouldn’t like the decisions I’d make. One more note, it is not possible to love her too much. Even if she says, she doesn’t like it, women aren’t feeling that great about their bodies during this time so reassurance that you love them will make both of your lives easier during this time.
The Eating Machine – There is truth to putting sympathy weight. You might not plan to, but when your wife wants a hamburger, you are going to get one too. You can’t let her eat by herself. As I mentioned earlier, she will already feel like a house so allowing her to eat by herself will only make her feel more like that. Or worse, she might not eat because she doesn’t want you to think she’s fat. Plus, it’s hard to resist freshly baked cookies, trips to get ice cream, or fast-food runs. If your woman asks you “do you want to get some (Fill in the blank)?” Always say yes. It’s in your best interest, I promise. Also, be prepared to be getting her food that she never wanted before. I heard a story of a vegetarian that craved McDonald’s hamburgers during pregnancy. I don’t know how to explain it, all you have to do is support it.
Playing Mr. Mom – As I mentioned earlier, she is going to feel exhausted for most of the pregnancy, but she is still going to expect the house to be clean, the laundry to be done, the toilets to be clean, the trash taken out, the dog walked, etc, etc, etc. It doesn’t matter how many hours a week you work, how much money you bring in, if your wife is working as well, you will need to take care of the brunt of the chores. If you do not, you are just going to be making the emotional roller coaster worse. A woman wants to come home to a clean house. They want to have things the way they want it. So, be prepared to play both working dad and stay-at-home mom rolls. If you don’t know how to cook, you may be eating out more thus making adding weight for you to be easier. You are going to be tired during this time, but you are not carrying the baby, so she needs you to take on this roll. Most likely, it’s only for the 9 months and then things will be back to normal.
That is the biggest lesson here. No matter how hard it gets on you as a man, remember, it is only for 9 months. Then you’ll have the woman you are used to back. It definitely is not an easy time for either of you and lots of people have gone through this. If you understand what you are getting yourself into, it will make the emotional trek that much easier on both of you. Enjoy this time, cause it’s the last 9 months you have by yourselves.
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