One day I was visiting friends, and a neighbor came over. We were all playing cards having a good time. Until the neighbor asked what my age was. I have never been the type to be ashamed of how old I am. So I told him that I was 45 years old.
He started laughing and called me a Cougar. A hush came over the crowd. Although they all were smiling, I could sense that maybe being a “Cougar” was not necessarily a good thing.
I asked exactly what it meant to be a Cougar?. I was assured by everyone that it was simply being an older, attractive women. I knew it meant more, but I did not want to continue with the conversation. I decided to wait until I got home and do a little research on what being a Cougar was all about.
I was shocked at some of the definitions I found.
A 40+ sexually aggressive woman who seeks the company of young men. She is predatory in nature and is not interested in commitment.
A woman over 40 who is desperately chasing young hotties and has no idea how ridiculous she appears to everyone. An easy lay.
An older woman that hits on a younger man.
I may be the right age but be assured, I am no Cougar. I find it to be very derogatory and offensive, and what it says to me is this. How dare I still be attractive?. How dare I take care of myself. How dare I be concerned with what I look like, and how I dress?.
I also do not consider myself a predator. I am not saying that I never chased a man. In my 20’s when I did not know better, I chased many. But predators enjoy the challenge. They like quantity more than quality. They have low self esteem and have to be assured by almost every Person that they meet that, they are attractive and loveable. I do not do pursuing. Men pursue me.
Sure, I think younger men are very good looking. I also think older men are good looking. In fact, hot men come in all shapes, sizes and colors. I would never discriminate. But why is it so different for men?.
I have a brother who is 63 years old. He is married to a woman who is 25 years old. They have two small children. Why is that acceptable?. Because sexism plays an important role in all this too. Men can cruise through life and be sexy and attractive forever. But women at a certain age should go crawl into a rocker and start knitting?.
I don’t think so. I am not quite ready to go sit and rock yet. Most of my generation feels the same way. I keep in touch with my girlfriends from high school to this day, and most of us have one thing in common. We have a knowledge about what keeps us healthy, and we incorporate that into our daily lives. We care about how we look. Most importantly, we are confident and strong. We are not settling back anytime soon. No matter what uncomplimentary words people come up with.
