Dumb Laws of Illinois

These laws were found at www.dumblaws.com, I don’t know whether they have been changed or abolished. And if they were, I used to say.

1. You may be taken for a vagrant if you do not have at least a one dollar bill on your person.

At least the common bum is covered. Unless he asked for a lot of money that day. But if your rich and it’s all about the credit card, you’re in for it.

2. You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile

That . .?

3. In English language is not to be spoken.

Now, as funny as it sounds, think about it. We speak American, the English speak English. And they will tell you so. Remember that we are two nations separated by a common language. The ocean and

Chicago:

4. In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer from a bucket while sitting on the couch.

Hmm, don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone.

5. legal It is permissible to protest naked in front of the city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have a legal permit.

So, any elder who is a companion at hand. What perverts they are!

crystal lake:

6. If someone wants to plant a new garden in his area during the summer months, he will not be able to water the water of the city.

Go steal from the next town.

Evanston:

7. Balls are prohibited.

I calmed this down. More than 35 local events have been uploaded to my Yahoo! search for ‘Evanston, IL bowling’.

8. You are not allowed to change clothes in the car with the hoods on, except if there is a fire.

“Katy, I think that old flame is getting hot on you. Better close the curtains.”
Come on, how many vehicles have curtains on them, unless they’re limos? And why so much in the fire? Does it really matter if the curtain is drawn because no one is going to see you anyway? For they all know that they are asleep.

Horner:

9. Against use your lips unless you are a law enforcement officer.

Again, Bart Simpson would choose this profession if he lived in Horner, Illinois. Wait, he lives in Springfield.

10. The town fathers had the delightful peeve of hearing their town’s name misspelled ‘Jolly-ETTE’, when all the locals knew it was pronounced ‘Joe-lee-ETTE’, that Jolly-ette was pronounced for mischief, a $5 fine.

Does this belong to the master’s hand? How about the fact that some say the state of Illinois is silent with an “s” instead of Illinois? I know the governor of Nevada would be upset if you pronounced that state name wrong. I could go on forever about states and states.

You can find these rules and more at www.dumblaws.com Have fun. I am sure.

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