This compilation of quotes explores the funny and humorous side of love, men, women and relationships. These witty and ironic sayings will tickle your funny bones and leave you laughing and smiling in delight. Enjoy these funny quotes about love and relationships with someone who has a sarcastic sense of humor.
Funny Quotes About Love and Relationships
“Love is a serious disease of the mind.” – Plato
“Women marry in the hope that they will change. Women do not marry in the hope that they will change. So both are disappointed.” – Albert Einstein
“You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.”- Henny Youngman
Nothing robs romance as much as a woman’s sense of humor.” – Oscar Wilde
I’ll never go crazy sleeping — stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller
“I love my wife. It’s so much that you want to torment one special person for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
“Love is only a dirty trick to us to achieve the continuation of the species.”- W. Somerset Maugham, Codicillus scriptor, 1949
“Love is the thing that makes a woman sing while mopping the floor after her husband has walked across the barn in his boots.” – Author unknown, as printed in The Hoosier Farmer
“Mumps, boas, and puppy love is terrible after twenty.” – Mignon McLaughlin, Codicillus neuroticus, 1960
“Love means nothing in tennis, but it is everything in life.” – Author Unknown
“He reserves his true and deepest love for a man, not because of the beauty of the woman in whose company he finds himself chosen and aroused, but for her in whose company he sleeps most tenderly.” – George John Nathan
“A woman should love the bad once or twice in her life, be thankful for the good” – Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
“Women still remember their first kiss after men have forgotten their last” – Remy de Gourmont
“You can’t put a price on love, but you can on all its accessories.” – Melanie Clark
A woman cannot be rational in love – or she probably cannot love. – Mae West.
“A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.” – Wyattus Wyatt
“Put your hand on a hot stove for a moment, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. Relative.” – Albert Einstein
“It is impossible to love and be wise.” – Francis Bacon
“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing her husband is when he has a baby.” – Natalie Wood
“A foolish man tells a woman to stop speaking; but a wise man tells her that the mouth is most beautiful when her lips are closed.”
“Men should be like Kleenex … soft, strong, made.” – Cherus
“The older theory was, marry the older because they are more mature. But the new theory is that men don’t mature. Marry the younger.” – Rita Rudner
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you were looking for, live with a car battery.” – Erma Bombeck< /b>
“A man is not perfect in love until he is with his wife. Then he is complete.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
“I was fastidious and all over the place… Either I was in love or I had the smallpox.” – Woody Allen
“To love is to suffer.” To love is to suffer. To love is not to suffer. But then it is to suffer not to love. To love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. He must suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy is to suffer. – Woody Allen
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is a wife.” – Groucho Marx
“My advice is to marry you; if you find a good wife, you will be happy; if not, you will become a philosopher.” Socrates.
“Love is a temporary insanity cured by marriage.” – Ambrose Bierce
“The best archaeologist a man can have is a woman: the older he gets, the more interested he is in her.”
Agatha Christie.
“When I finally met Mr. Right I didn’t know that his first name was ever.” – Rita Rudner.
If you grab the balls, hearts and minds will follow.” – John Wayne.. a>
“Man, things are simple. They can survive the whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries in remote control ..” – Diana Jordan.
