Miscarriage is a devastating and traumatic experience for both the man and the woman – for some couples, it can be the most trying time in their relationship. Also, people tend to get the “short end of the stick” when it comes to being able to express their feelings about abortion or when expressing sympathy or concern with family and friends. And this is mainly because people tend to better hide their emotions, in the mistaken belief that they are “strong”.
It’s also true that people don’t go through the actual physical pain of a miscarriage or deal with the physical symptoms – many forget that when a woman has a miscarriage – her partner also has a miscarriage! There are ways husbands can help their wives while they are having an abortion, which in turn will help both.
Understand people’s feelings of pain and grief when a miscarriage occurs, and it’s important to ask them for help if they have a lot of problems. A great way to help your wife get through the abortion is to avoid “crushing” your feelings. Allow yourself to be sad and show your heart.
Your wife needs to know that she is not alone. Imagine if you are sorry that you are the way. Make her know how much you love her and that she can trust you. However, he has patience because it hurts or he faces an abortion. The grieving process grieving can take many months, don’t “approach” it too hard.
Make sure you open up to your wife and what she is going through, help her feel ‘safe’ about the abortion and her feelings with you. Try not to be
They are “distant” or nonchalant about it- this could make them feel like they don’t care.
Don’t try to give your wife false “hope” or empty assurances. Don’t tell her “We’re having another baby” or “We’re getting married again.” While hope and optimism are good things, false hope or vain hope can do serious damage. It is best to stay true to the fact that the future is uncertain, and let your wife know that you will continue to love her and be with her no matter what happens.
Do not depart from your wife, nor avoid her. Give her the same attention, time and love you did before the abortion, if not more. If you find her withdrawing from you or her “life”, gently encourage her to love the exit and seek professional help if needed.
Be supportive no matter what your wife is hurting and in pain, and let her know that you are not judging her or being impatient with her because of her ways.
painful or how long it takes. Do not be angry with your wife because she is sad, depressed, hurt, etc.
Recognize that the miscarriage is not your fault, or your wife’s fault, and avoid placing blame on both. Accusation has no place in the grief process.
Sometimes mishaps happen, and there is no “right reason”. I don’t blame you or your wife for losing a baby, just finally eating with you. Both will cause a lot of anger and hurt, and it will be difficult for you and your wife to get close again.
Understand that after an abortion, some women immediately start “trying” again, and others will withdraw from sex for fear of getting pregnant and miscarrying again. It is important not to push your wife in either direction, let her take the lead. If you feel that they are not really dealing with your feelings, then express your concerns gently. After the miscarriage and the pain from it are over, then your sex life will return to normal. Be patient in the meantime!
Some women will unrealistically expect their husband to be able to provide all the emotional support needed after an abortion. If you feel more equal or unable to deal with the emotions you are both trying to cope with, it may be helpful to suggest couples counseling or individual counseling for both of you.
Understand that your wife is angry with everyone and everything, and often, or almost constantly, cries and may or may not want to argue.
the abortion was never done consistently, or to conceal it. Encourage her to deal with her emotions in a healthy way and to avoid getting angry with her in any way she expresses her feelings.
Miscarriage is a traumatic and painful event and can put a strain on your marriage. With patience, intelligence and love it can bring you and your wife closer together. Don’t stop feeling sorry for yourself, and don’t let yourself be hurt.
