So I’ve been asked to be a hostess in a wedding this spring. And when I was first given the assignment, my first reaction was: “I’m honored!” My second one was: “Wait a minute, what does a hostess even do?” So I got on Google, and started looking stuff up. And I got a lot of conflicting information. So in this article, I’d like to set the record straight as to what a hostess does in a wedding, i.e., what her responsibilities and duties are. (Note- Although I am referring to a female hostess, a man can be a host as well. In fact, when many people think of a host at a wedding, they automatically think of a man in that position. But it applies to both genders.) This article is based on things from my personal experience, and the most consistent information I found online. A hostess actually does a lot, but isn’t worked to death. If you’ve heard that rumor, let me discredit it now. (And one other note- not all weddings are the same. The hostess’s duties may vary from wedding to wedding, depending on the couple, the circumstances, and the maid/matron of honor who may want your help or not.)
Before the Ceremony.
So before the ceremony, there are a few things the hostess does, or can be asked to do.
1. Get the look.
Check with the bride and see what she wants you in. That means what color, what kind of dress, what kind of accessories, etc. She may want you to match the bridesmaids and/or the other hostess (if there is one, there may or may not be) exactly, just a little bit, or not even at all. You may even be given a corsage.
2. Help plan the shower(s).
So the hostess can be asked to help plan the shower(s), and doing that can include anything from helping the maid/matron of honor find the place, book the place, helping with the invites, helping with the decorations, and anything else that goes into planning a shower.
3. Go to the shower(s).
Obviously! If you are a hostess in a wedding, and have been invited to the shower(s) (That you may have even helped plan.) then by all means go!
4. Help with anything else.
If there is anything else that the couple or the maid/matron of honor needs in planning, by all means, offer your help!
At the ceremony.
The day of the ceremony is the day you fulfill most of your responsibilities.
1. Get there early.
Get there early enough to help out with any last minute things that need done.
2. Pass out programs.
If there are programs at the wedding, it will most likely be your responsibility to hand them out to people coming in.
3. Help people.
Help people find seats, and offer your assistance to anyone who may need it. I.e., elderly people, people with children.
4. Walk down the isle.
You may or may not be asked to walk down the isle, it depends on the couple.
After the ceremony.
1. Leave the ceremony fast.
Try to get out of where the ceremony is held as fast as you can without being rude to get the where the reception is being held as early as possible, and offer to transport anything that needs transporting.
2. Help set up the reception.
Whether your help is needed with decorations, the setting up of tables and chairs, or any other fine tuning, help with anything you can.
3. Stand at the door.
This may be the first thing someone thinks of when they think of hostess: the one who stands at the door. You will have people sign a book. (If there is one.) If it is an invitation only reception, you will most likely have a list of invited people and as each comes in you will be marking them off. After you get the people in, point out to them the gift table, money box, the restroom, food table, the bar (if there is one) and tell them the particulars about that, and tell them what time dinner will be served. (If it will be.)
4. Keep an eye out.
Once the majority of people have arrived, go and take your seat, wherever if may be. (You may be sitting at the wedding party’s table, or you may not. Again, depends on the couple.) While seated, keep your eye on the door for any late arrivals. Follow the same pattern with them as with the people who were on time, and fill them in on what they may have missed.
Also keep an eye out for anything else your assistance may be required for. That may be helping with children, with food, etc. Basically keep your eye out for anything that needs doing. Now, I am not saying you are a slave the whole evening, but what I am saying is that you should just keep an eye out for your newly married couple and anything they need help with.
5. Say good-bye.
When the bride and groom leave the reception, be sure and tell them good-bye.
Have fun!
Don’t sweat the small stuff, and have a good time! Hey, you were invited to the wedding after all, not just as a hostess, but as a guest as well. Get out on the dance floor and have a good time!
