Behavior charts are one of the best tools you have in your parenting “tool bag” but many don’t know how to use them. Charts are great for getting wayward children back on track and need not be a long-term behavioral solution. Once the child gets in the habit of choosing obedience over disobedience, you will find that the need for the chart decreases. This article will explore how to create and implement a positive reinforcing behavior chart.
Include your child. Children are more likely to be on board with a new behavior strategy if they feel that they have some say in it. You can simply approach your child and state that he has been exhibiting some problem behaviors that need to stop. You want him to be successful so you are going to work with him to create a chart that will help him improve in those areas. Ask him what he thinks his biggest problem areas are right now.
Make a list of no more than 7 problem areas. You don’t want to overwhelm your child and while you may feel that there are hundreds of areas that are problematic, critically evaluate the situation and pick the ones that you would like to eliminate first. Make sure you pick one area that is only a minor struggle. This will increase the likelihood that he will stay invested in the process. You want to build some success into the chart.
Phrase the problem areas as goals. If your child talks back, the goal could read, “Speak respectfully to Mom and Dad.” If your child often hits other children, the goal could say, “Give only gentle touches.” Every time you notice your child acting in a way consistent with the goal, he gets a point. You will have to be attentive because, at first, you will be looking for even the smallest shred of behavior that looks like an improvement. For a child who usually hits, you can say, “Wow. Even though you are yelling and screaming, you didn’t hit your sister. That is good progress on your goal. You get a point.”
Decide on the privileges to earn. This type of chart uses an economy system. The points your child earns can be “spent” on activities and privileges that are of interest to him. Allow him to identify what he would like to work towards and you can assign the “price.” For example, if your child loves to play on the computer, you can establish that a half hour of computer time will cost him 10 points.
Establish guidelines. You may find that your child quickly begins to earn points in one or two of the goal areas whereas other areas are glaringly devoid of points. Establish a rule where three days with no points in one area “freezes” the chart. This means that no points can be spent or earned until he earns at least one point in the problem area.
Materials needed and set up. A white board is a great tool for this kind of system because the points can be easily added with a tally mark and then erased when “spent.” You can also use a pencil and paper. Place the goals along the left of the chart in one column and the days of the week across the top. Each category will then have a square for each day in which to mark the points earned. Also, prominently list the privileges and their cost on the same chart.
Remember that all privileges must be earned in order for the chart to be successful. If your child asks to play outside, simply say, “Let’s see if you have enough points for that.” This system has the added benefit of teaching children to budget and anticipate the future. If they want to earn something that costs a lot of points, they will have to make sure they don’t squander their points on other smaller privileges.
Using this type of behavioral chart will provide your child with a great deal of positive reinforcement and will also help to train you to attend to good behaviors and not just the bad. You will see success in no time!
