A corkscrew is a simple enough thing, right? You might think any kitchen would be stocked with one, or several, of these necessary items.
But for those of use who don’t drink wine on a regular basis, we often may not realize that we don’t have a corkscrew, or can’t locate it, until the time comes to open our wine. Or, we may discover that we don’t have the necessary strength to pull a cork without extra leverage (which is why those handy lever-corkscrews exist, but hey, the simple one was cheaper so you bought that). Or maybe you’ve just run into a situation like I once did, where the corkscrew turns out to be so cheap that it unwinds itself in the process of pulling!
Whatever the reason, it’s pretty common to find yourself in this position. And sure, you could run out and buy one, but who wants to do that? The wine is right there, waiting for you, enticing you with its nearness and tragic inaccessibility. (Not the mention the fact that if you’re in the middle of some good partying, you may have already consumed the whiskey and beer, thus making driving absolutely out of the question).
There are two ways you can solve this problem: the first is to push the cork in to the bottle, where it will float in the wine, making it possible to pour, drink and enjoy. In order to do this, you need something firm, cylindrical, and just small than the opening of the bottle. Something dowel-like is very good, especially if you can give it a good few taps with something hard and heavy in order to force the cork in.
The method I prefer, however, is one that will actually get the cork out. All you need is a long screw, a screwdriver, and a hammer. Or, if you don’t have a hammer, anything with a claw meant for pulling nails, a hammer is just most commonly found around the house. You can use a crowbar, but I kinda don’t want to know what kind of person has a crowbar in their house but not a hammer.
Um, moving on…
Simply take a screw and place the pointy end in the cork. Screw it in with the screwdriver as far as you can, up to the head of the screw. Leave just enough room for the hammer claw to be able to fit, then position the hammer, pull as you would when removing a nail, and remove both screw and cork.
Like I said, this screw should be fairly long, otherwise it won’t grip enough of the cork and will simply be pulled out when you pry it. Also, make sure to pull carefully, or else you could knock over the bottle, spill the wine, or break the glass.
This method works very well and will impress your houseguests with your handiness. What they don’t have to know is that it’s also an excellent method for those of us who are too wimpy to pull a corkscrew straight out.
I promise I won’t tell. Wimp.
