When I first started filing my legal case against the man who was stalking me, I got in touch with the Domestic Violence Center. A woman came up to me and handed me her card, telling me to call the number, saying I could get other help there. I was in disbelief at first because I didn’t feel that I was a victim of domestic violence and I figured my case was just different from anyone else’s in any other way.
After a while it became clear that this whole trial was taking its toll on me. I am asking for additional help. I had decided to give the hotline a call, but it took me a while to do so, just think. I wasn’t sure what kept me from calling the center for help, maybe I was in denial about what was happening to me. Maybe I felt so alone that the law wasn’t even with me.
One night I finally got up the courage to call them and remembered that there was a 24 hour hotline. I dialed the number and spoke to the woman on the phone and asked if there were any support groups in my area. He gave me the name of a woman I could contact the next day. A female friend and support group told me that it ran for half an hour long and there were about six to eight people in it. Sometimes more, sometimes less. He told me that the place was more secret, he gave me the instructions and I told him that I would be at the next meeting.
For some time the rest of that week I was freaking out because I didn’t really want to go. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about my business, I guess I just want to go there and listen to feel for the group. I ended up calling the woman back and asking her if I should speak at the meeting and she said that it wasn’t up to me at all and that I could just sit and listen if I wanted to. That was a little reassuring, but I was still nervous.
I showed up the night of the meeting and remembered that I had forgotten to ask for the room number. I saw a few women standing outside the room and realized they were there for the meeting.
We all headed into the room and sat down. By the time the meeting started it was supposed to be just me, myself and the woman running the group. He looked at me and another woman and asked if we had anything we wanted to share. I don’t know what came over me, but I shouted and said to go ahead first. As I told the story, more women began to show up and not be intimidated by one side. I had some women asking me when I was talking, wanting to know more about my situation because I was new. I took it after the fact. I felt that these women really listened to me and cared about helping me.
As I listened to other women tell their stories, I realized that while our situations were not the same, we all felt the same about what was happening to each of us. We were all terrified and scared for our lives. We all needed something like dying so that we could understand our feelings.
I left, I asked myself what I was so afraid of before. I know I’m going through a lot, and it’s nice to have someone there to support me and tell me I’m doing the right thing. For anyone who is a victim or victim of domestic violence, I recommend contacting the Domestic Violence Hotline and they will direct you to a local group in your area.
