As a white American marrying into a Korean family, it has been my duty and privilege to learn about and participate in many Korean wedding traditions. Unfortunately, so few resources were available online in English. So I became a real puppet in the process, not quite knowing what to do or how to do it, just to follow the instructions given to me in mixed Korean-English or “Konglish” and do it as gracefully as possible.
Of the Korean-American weddings I have attended, the aspect of traditional Korean weddings seems to be the most respected. Pyebaek, pronounced “Peh-beck,” is frequent. Pyebaek is considered a more private affair in which the groom’s family officially welcomes the bride into their family. It will take place after the wedding ceremony in the nuptial, in the house of the parents of the bride and groom, with whom they are newly married. the first night the couple would be free. Although the bride’s family may not be formally invited to this ceremony in Korea, typically in America, the bride’s family will be present. (I’m sorry to my family that I confused and told you that you don’t need to be there…).
The bride and groom are dressed in many silk Hanboks, with elaborate crowns on their heads. The rich layered fabrics are a nod to history, when the Korean public traditionally exclude all white, except for their wedding day with soft royal colors would be put on To join the heads, usually several hands are needed, especially of the bride. Make sure you line up lots of bobby pins or the crown will fall on your head!
The setting for Peh-beck might be a living room room, preferably with some nice soft clothes (why :). The bride and groom are placed in front of a table of many Korean sweets in beautiful arrangements, including figs and chestnuts. Also present on the table will be a pair of wood geese or ducks, symbols of fidelity, since these birds are known to mate for the elf.
Family members will be seated opposite the bride and groom, typically in front of a traditional veil. The bride and groom greet each other at the groom’s house, making a bow, in which the legs are crossed so that the bride and the groom sit down on the ground (well, the bride usually has two helpers on either side of her so as not to make the bow crash), and then the head he touches the ground, to signify that his great honor is in the presence of great wisdom. The bride and groom will offer family members tea or grape, or in some cases sip wine.
In exchange, family members give their wisdom, cash gifts (sometimes blessings are written on the outside of the envelope, tucked inside with cash), and throwing figs, which represent girls, and chestnuts, which represent boys, into the open laps of the bride and bridegroom. The number of figs and chestnuts represent the number of boys and girls the family members want to carry as a bride and groom. This custom varies from family to family. Some throw only figs and chestnuts on the bridegroom’s lap. Some brides and grooms give cash gifts to their parents, and some will receive money for their wedding expenses.
A series of piggyback rides is possible, so that the long-suffering groom is prepared. He will shake off several layers of the bride’s heavy hanbok and seat her piglets around the ceremonial table to mark her intimate journey into this new life. He may also offer a ride to his mother and grandmother, any other women present, to show his love for the older women, but there are mixed opinions about this symbol.
Peh-beck is a beautiful ceremony to experience as a participant as well as a witness and I hope that its traditions will be preserved for many generations. Unless it’s a whole fig and chestnut business. Fruits and vegetables with complicated wishes thrown at you can be a little daunting for children of six and seven.
