Going to college! When you’re fresh out of high school it means freedom, adulthood, living on your own for the first time and becoming responsible. It’s a time when many young adults “find themselves”, figure out what they want to do with the rest of their lives, and form friendships that they’ll remember for years to come. But when you’re a mom returning to college it’s a completely different experience, I know because I myself am a mother of three and a fulltime college student.
I put my education on hold for 5 years when I got married and moved to Germany to support my husband in his military career. I always knew that I wanted to continue my education, and when we moved back to the United States, I decided that it was time for me to start focusing on my own career goals, so I enrolled in school. What I hadn’t anticipated was how difficult returning to school as an adult can really be.
The reality is that as a parent, you’re not as carefree as the traditional college student. Had I gone to college straight after high school, my only concern would have been focusing on school work, but as a mother I have children to take care of, I have bills to pay, I have a job to attend, and I have a home to run. I have other responsibilities that sometimes come before school work, so how do you balance it all?
Online Classes
If possible, take classes online. This requires a bit more discipline, as you for the most part will be your own teacher. You’ll still have deadlines to meet but you won’t have a set schedule, which will allow you to complete assignments when it’s convenient for you, after the kids go to bed, or during your lunch break at work.
Do Something Part time
My biggest mistake when I first went back to school was attempting to be superwoman. I was a fulltime wife, a fulltime mother, a fulltime student, and I was working a fulltime job. There were some days when I ran off of 3 hours of sleep, if even that. I wasn’t taking care of myself, I was physically, mentally, and emotionally drained, and I wasn’t giving my best effort to any of the jobs that I had to do. Housework was falling behind, I wasn’t spending enough time with my kids, I barely saw my husband, and I was making careless mistakes at work. Something had to give. I was fortunate enough that my family could afford for me to switch to a part time schedule at work, allowing me more free time for the other responsibilities that I had on my plate, but if this isn’t an option for you, then consider going to school part time. It will take you longer to finish, but at least you’ll have the energy to devote your all to your studies.
Time Management
When you have multiple tasks to complete, time management is crucial! Create a schedule and stick to it as closely as possible. Have a specific time set aside for chores, school work, and devote a certain amount of time to family activities. Sticking to a schedule ensures that everything gets completed in a timely manor and that no task gets neglected.
Have a strong support base
Having people in your life who support your goals and are willing to help you achieve them will make returning to school much more pleasurable. My husband picks up extra chores around the house when I don’t have time to complete them. He takes the kids to doctors appointments and other activities when I am not able, and my parents volunteered to babysit, which gives me a reliable, free place to take my children while I’m in class. If you don’t have family around who can play as active of a role in your education as mine can there are still ways for you to find support. Join a facebook group or forums for mothers returning to school. You’ll meet lots of other women sharing the same goal and it will give you someone to vent to, and to swap advice with, who understands exactly what you’re going through.
Motivate yourself
Returning to school is a challenging task, It’s easy to burn out and lose focus. Find ways to motivate yourself to stick with it. Create a photo board with magazine clippings of your desired career, post motivational messages to yourself on sticky notes, remind yourself that you’re setting an amazing example for your kids, and remember that when this is over you’ll be able to provide a better life for your entire family.
Returning to school as a mother comes with a unique set of challenges, but you can do it! All you have to do is set your mind to it!
