As a mother dreams of having a “Gerber” baby. That dream seemed to me to break.
In five weeks I will have a baby nativ. He is a son, he makes dreams come true. My heart dropped at the word “hydrocephalus”.
Hydrocephalus is called water on the brain. The volume of cerebrospinal fluid increases. A baby diagnosed with this condition often has an enlarged head. My baby’s congenital hydrocephalus is caused by a genetic disorder. The genetic disorder is known as ductal stenosis. In simpler terms, the aqueduct is too narrow to allow the CSF fluid to pass through. This causes hydrocephalus.
In the next five weeks decisions must be made. Questions through the mind. Too many questions come for my newborn and you.
Can I treat it with medicine? Am I fit enough to raise a child? Will the father and I be able to support each other during the rest of my pregnancy and our baby?
Time is short. I am afraid not only for myself, but also for my newborn. As mother is afraid to have a child with the condition of the doctor it became true. Great fear for the son.
Hydrocephalus is a serious medical condition that should not be taken lightly. The treatment for this is surgery to insert a shunt. With the help of a shunt to drain the CSF fluid. At any time, the shunt can fail; If the repairs to the shunt fail, it must be repaired immediately.
My son just as a neurosurgeon warned me about a new procedure to treat hydrocephalus. A third ventriculostomy is an endoscopic procedure to actually repair the aqueduct. The neurosurgeon invited me. The dangers are too great.
I want it to be convenient for my child. My concern will also follow. I never thought anyone could love me as much as I love him. The world says me.
Doctors are unsure what his outcome will be like. I do not believe that the future is unknown to all of us. Who knows what lies ahead of us? Every face is uncertain.
will I be a good mother? which now will happen not only to my life but also to the judgments of my son. It’s not about me anymore. It’s about my son and what’s best for him. His life and future are in my hands.
The word hydrocephalus scares me. Most serious medical conditions are treatable. Many parents are unaware of this condition. As a mother, I want to share my experiences with other parents.
Hopefully my experiences can inform others with hydrocephalus. I don’t want other parents to live in fear like I am now. Parents need to know all they can about hydrocephalus and various other disorders.
In a high risk pregnancy anything can be done. My doctors have taught me that my chances of stillbirth are much higher during my pregnancy than with an uncomplicated pregnancy.
I don’t know if I could cop if something happened to my son. The guilt of passing the gene to him overwhelms him. It’s not my fault, but he stays conscious of his guilt. Delivering a child with hydrocephalus is recommended for a C-section. The size of the head cannot pass safely through the nascent canal. The expansion head is either stuck or the pressure head needs to be injected.
Excess fluid putting pressure on the brain. The neurosurgeon warned me that if he didn’t drain the excess fluid, the fluid could damage his brain. His best option is to run away to drain the liquid. I will do whatever it takes to make sure my son has a healthy, bright future.
father and parents we are sorry. We love our son very much and want to do what is best for him. Let us have a son, glory and joy.
I lay awake so many nights crying for my newborn. I fear the future and what is to come. Doctors are so uncertain. What scares me the most is the uncertainty of the future. They can’t tell me whether he will have a learning disability or not.
Decisions will be delayed for the next five weeks. No one can judge me right or wrong. This is my choice and the worst and most difficult decision I will ever have to make. I take myself out of the equation and let my son think.
Please pray for my son. His life and future are now in God’s hands. It is to God now. The rest of the pregnancy will be tough for me. Decisions will be made only or more for me to judge. My love for my son is absolute. You cannot begin to understand the love of a child until you become pregnant and have your own child. It is not yet a mother’s journey. The story is still unfolding …. To be continued.
