The bar lights dim, exciting an already anxious crowd. A disembodied voice booms from the PA system, welcoming the audience and reciting the Ten Commandments.
The first Commandment? “Thou Shalt Seek Only to Rock!”
The band takes the stage one by one, playing the opening chords of AC/DC’s “Hell’s Bells” to frantic applause, as a shapely brunette in a red bustier and plastic devil horns struts forward, holding aloft a thick binder packed full of the greatest rock lyrics of all time, from Aerosmith to ZZ Top.
This isn’t a rock concert, per se. Nor is it typical karaoke, where your only back up comes from a tinny machine and the hearty laughter of your friends. Welcome to Live Rock and Roll Karaoke at Arlene’s Grocery (95 Stanton Street, between Ludlow and Orchard Streets, 212-995-1652), where every Monday night at 10pm, amateur singers, Lower East Side hipsters and drunken partiers alike can choose from a list of over 200 rock classics, then mount the stage to front a live band. Because anyone can be a rock god – at least for one song.
“It’s more than just going to see a band,” said Paul McGilloway, lead guitarist for the Arlene’s Grocery Monday Night Rock and Roll Karaoke Band. “You can participate. And we want everyone to leave the stage feeling like they’re a rock star, like they did a good job.
“We like to bring it out in people,” added drummer Mark Marone.
But Arlene’s Grocery isn’t the only place to live out your rock and roll fantasies on stage. Here are some other venues where you can rock out with the band:
If you prefer the Man in Black instead of “Back In Black,” Rob Ryan and the Brooklyn Kuntry All-Star Band hosts Live Band Kuntry Karaoke every Monday night at Hank’s Saloon (46 Third Avenue, at Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn, 718-625-8003). They’ll back you up as you yodel and howl your favorite tunes by Willie, Johnny, Hank, Dolly and all your other country and southern rock favorites. Get there early for free BBQ, and anyone brave enough to step up and sing even gets a free “shot of courage” (that is, Jack Daniels). The show starts at 9pm and ends “when the police break up the party.”
Sunday nights at 8pm, head to the Village for CrashCourse Karaoke at Kenny’s Castaways (157 Bleecker Street, between Thompson and Sullivan Streets, 212-979-9762). Your wait for rock stardom ends here! Blending classic rock hits with ’80s kitsch and karaoke standards, the extensive Crash Course song list is sure to lure you to the stage – at least after you’ve knocked back a few.
Meanwhile, the Human Karaoke Experience boasts the largest song selection of any live karaoke band, with over 450 songs. Rather than confine themselves to one bar, they’ve taken their show all over the city in the past few years. In the coming months, join them at either O’Flanagan’s (1215 First Avenue, between 65th and 66th Streets, 212-439-0660) or Woodhaven House (63-98 Woodhaven Blvd, Queens, 718-894-5400), or even book the band for a private party. Shows generally start at 9pm, but check out www.newyorkplanet.net/humankaraoke for the full schedule.
Perhaps the greatest rival to Arlene’s Grocery is the Original Punk Rock/Heavy Metal Karaoke Band, which has been rocking NYC like a hurricane for nearly a decade at venues like the Mercury Lounge, the Canal Room, Lit, Crash Mansion, Fat Baby, the Delancey and the Luna Lounge. This might be the only band that plays Bad Brains and Pat Benatar songs in the same night, so don’t miss this one-of-a-kind rock and roll experience. All you shower singers can find them next at Club Midway (25 Avenue B, 212-253-2595) on August 21 at 11pm.
“I like what Andy Warhol said,” McGilloway mused. “‘In the future everyone will get their 15 minutes of fame.’ Well, we can provide five. Two and a half if it’s a Ramones song.”
