Bandit! What a delay! Schlitterbahn is a major water park just north of San Antonio that is rated the #1 water park in America on the Iteriana Basin. I don’t want to pull any punches with this review. This water park was just not fun and I would never recommend going there.
There was a lot of excitement as we went down the Schlitterbahn on a hot Sunday morning. I wanted to go on vacation, but Sunday was the only time we could do it. No worries, I thought, it’ll open right up there and I’ll get at least 3 or 4 shots for a big draw.
We got there early but neglected to research the park and got lost in the first entrance. Ridiculous me… I walk in the door. There are two waters of paradise (East and West) and little new big horn three slides. they were in the east park and not the original west park. After varying and running in search of this figure, we realized that we had arrived at another park. Could he walk there? NO. Could we ride the tube there? NO. The only way to get to the other park is on the bus! Darn.
We left the park, hopped on the bus, and after about 5 minutes of walking through and past residential houses we finally made it to the east side of the park. By the end of time, he appreciated the return to the gardens and stairs to #i on water rides. Holy shit (if I’m not mistaken), the wait was already over 1 1/2 hours! Do you believe this? I never want to wait for a ride and so we took another two rides that only took about 20 minutes to wait. It’s very disappointing to tell you.
Things never really got much better. Most of the water rides were pretty tame and all had noticeable lines. That was even more frustrating at the arc of the two’s lives. Not like Schlitterbahn Blizzard Beach or Typhoon Lagoon at Disney where everything is laid out in front of you. Schlitterbahn is a pile of trees and concrete and it’s very hard to tell where some of the rides start and whether you need to get on and off the tube. We spent half of our day or so trying to find a start because he laughs.
Both orchards look old and are old. The first one (West) was built in 1979 and looks its age. The park itself, as I said before, is next to real houses with people living in them. As if this German town met in 1979, it decided to attract some tourists to build a water park. Actually, that’s probably exactly what happened. Additionally, there are no new electronic developments that a newer water park would have. A life guard at the top of each slide manually rides the bottom to look at the bottom to indicate when the person has ended up in the slide. He then gives the guards the OK to proceed for the next person. In the modern part, all devices have support with it of course.
This park might be fun for kids, but it really isn’t much for adults. The wave pool is very small and really quite pathetic. If you’re in the area, kill time and have the kids then check it out. However, as you may be planning to fly or take a long trip, I suggest you choose something else.
