The trip down the DVD aisle has become a disappointment of hazardous proportions. Studios and distributors aren’t thinking retroactively enough with their releases, forsaking tentpole entertainment worthy of digital preservation for wet-behind-the-ears shows that haven’t developed a time-tested fan base yet. Do we get the wonders of ‘The A Team’ on DVD? Yes, we do. But we also have to swallow ‘The Gilmore Girls’ seasons 1, 2, 4, whatever… The question of taste has always been a savage one, but this is nouveau blasphemy. Pleas of eager fans are heard at times (see Magnum P.I.), but get pre-maturely drowned out by the tween demographic (see The OC box set). Little kids control the capital, while the rest of us wait like androids for a sign from the video disc fates.
‘Spitting Image’ debuted in 1984, and with it, brought England -and eventually the states- the most brilliant satire show television had ever seen. There was no ‘Family Guy’, no Bart Simpson. There was only the Cold War, Madonna, Sly, and Reagan -all of which could be seen in puppet incarnations in the famed British TV series. Every Sunday, the line was blurred between doltish celebrities and even more buffoonish political figures. And even better, millions watched.
Here’s where I get a little nostalgic. I recall the sphere of my memory opening wide enough to remember these hideous foam puppets singing and dancing around; and the memory, so vivid, followed me around unlabeled until my first year at art school. They were frightening, but welcoming. Horrifying, yet satisfying. Threatening and funny. Many, many nights were spent researching and searching for the origin of these automatons and their reasons for being so anti-happy. I sacrificed nights out and lost two girlfriends in the process of my obsession with this mystery, my peers unable to assist me or sympathize. Flickers of hope would come in the form of non-sensical lyrics to something called “The Chicken Song” and a random snapshot of a latex caricature of Kylie Minogue. I’m no Bogart; these clues only baffled me stupid.
My research brought me to a Genesis fan site, where little thumbnails of Phil Collins began to clutter my screen. Two hours later, a little jpeg appeared no bigger than a quarter but larger than the Invisible Touch logo. I saw them. Groups of tens of them: the puppets. The ‘Land of Confusion’ music video gave the Spitting Image characters to the States, portraying Ronald Reagan -arguably the series’ main character, err, target- missing his alarm clock in a dozey state and fingering the detonator of a nuclear warhead. Oh yeah, and there’s a monkey in their bedroom, too.
My mind knew what to call them now, and where to look. I purchased two video cassettes from England and have read twenty articles on the show, but none of them -repeat- none of them, talk about seasonal DVDs or plans to release thereof. Shakespeare wrote, “There’s the rub…”; damned if the Bard wasn’t dead-on. The articles, history, and images of Spitting Image are, suffice to say, limited. It’s as if the show is slowly being erased out of broadcast existence. I feel like I’m inside of a poorly directed ‘Outer Limits’ episode where the sea of millions that cherished these works of art have had their communal memory rubbed out, as if by mind control. I suspect the tweens.
How can Britain’s biggest show go completely unnoticed by the DVD market? Why hasn’t anyone come forward to complain or plea sooner? Not one petition. Not one protest. No threats. Just sad. When one query is answered, another sphinx wrapped inside a riddle wrapped inside of an enigma blooms, like an anti-valentine right in my face. If another couple of years go by, I fear the chances of getting to actually see episodes (not just the VHS specials that are available) will dwindle to mental rubble.
I have so dubbed the current DVD fiscal year as “The Era of Our Ways”. Children and the WB are a hungry monolith that is making the commemoration of shows like these -and countless forgettable others- impossible. Not only will this nostalgia get stale and/or die, but the very threshold of obscurity of genre-based collections might as well. If we let this slide through the cracks of another Raven Symone made for TV disc, we could just kiss every chance of seeing the strange memories we’ve come to treasure good bye. ‘MST3K’ will vanish like breath between ocean liners, replaced with ‘One Tree Hill’, and a decade will pass and we mysteriously won’t be able to remember the best two words we’ve come to learn in our sub-culture: ‘South…Park…’
The death rattle is a little too close for comfort on this one.
Label me a conspiracy theorist. Call me a madman. The sound of little, mall-bought shoes marching is already audible; as the Justin Timberlake fan club, er angry mob, have come to torch me like they did Dr. Frankenstein, Peter Fonda, and E.T. We mustn’t stop remembering. We mustn’t stop the good fight. We need the offensively enjoyable ‘Spitting Image’ episodes in their DVD glory, and we need them now, before it’s too late.
To the show’s creators, Peter Fluck and Roger Law: I demand you come out of hiding. I was repulsed at the auctioning and racketeering of these puppets at Sotheby’s. You cannot make us forget your genius, no matter how hard you try. I’m not just talking your specials and music video compilation tapes. I’m talking seasons, ’84 to ’96. On disc. I’d even settle for a
feature-less package. Any way your little hearts desire. If money is your objective, make it a pricey box set. I’ll pay it. And so will the other 12 million yearning fans.
In this, our society’s most challenging time, with: the war, Bush, gas prices, and the slow loss of our freedoms, we need a show like this. A brave, creative effort that mocked warmongering leaders and those silly, famous faces we romance to hate. This isn’t sunny idealism, it’s hard-edged, grimey consumerism. We need to laugh, and humor is our greatest weapon of mass destruction. A tool of truth. And, yeah, puppets rule.
Let’s not make history, well, history.
Reference:
- www.80snostalgia.com/ www.cfhf.net/lyrics/spitting.htmhttp://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Spitting-Ima
