This seems like something that you would watch on a television show, but it was all too real for these two families. It was a tragic accident in April of 2006 when Whitney Cerek and Laura Van Ryn suddenly had their lives changed forever. The mix-up of the two young girls took a devastating affect on the families as one thought their daughter was still alive, and the other family was in mourning to just find out that the two identities had been mixed up, as reported by MSNBC. This fatal car crash was nothing like a television show at all; it was very real, and it had led them on a journey in their lives that has been unforgettable.
Many people hear of fatal car crashes and often think of the person as being another victim but this may not be the case at all especially to the families that have to suffer through the loss of a loved one.
In December 1999, a friend of mine had just received her license and decided to take her new car out for a ride. The roads were wet and slippery from the snow that had fallen the night before.
It wasn’t long before her parents started calling me up asking if I knew where their daughter was. I hadn’t seen her all day but had talked to her on the phone when she had asked if I wanted to go for a ride with her. I had called her crazy for being out on the wet roads and declined her offer.
Later that night, as I was watching the news, I saw a car that looked familiar to the one that my friend had been driving. I sat their patiently as I watched them pull someone from the car but the body was not recognizable at all.
The police had stated on the news that there was no license found with the body or any distinguishing features. They said that they were trying to run a check on the license plate to determine the ownership of the car.
A few minutes later, her mother called and said that my friend had ran off and left her wallet at home. She stated that this was not like her at all and that she doesn’t understand why she hasn’t tried to contact her.
I asked her to turn on the news. I heard the television come on and then the phone went silent. Her mother started screaming and that was when I knew that it was my friend who was in the car.
The identity was later discovered that it was indeed my friend. She had just turned sixteen when her parents had bought her the car for her birthday. She drove across a bridge and loss control of the vehicle. This car accident ended with her dying at the scene.
It is hard to offer suggestions to anyone who has loss a loved one through a car accident but I do have a few that might help after this tragic event.
People often ask why but they never find the answers. We search for the answers to the unknown because we are only humans and think that there is an explanation for everything.
I have heard just about everything at a funeral and some things that people say can hurt you. The truth is that no one really knows what to say to someone who has just loss a loved one. If what they are saying bothers you, just ignore their comments or let them know that you appreciate their concern but would rather not hear about that right now.
I have found that it is okay if you want to cry in public and it’s okay if you can’t. I had a son who died and I hardly cried at the funeral mainly because I was dehydrated and later learned that I was going through what most people go through at a funeral and after the death of a loved one, I was still in shock. After the funeral I broke down and cried for two weeks straight and I still find myself crying.
Abusing substances is never a good way to make your problems go away and it will not make you feel better. I drank until I made myself sick every night. I found myself becoming a horrible person and it made people talk. I stopped drinking after my dad told me that life’s problems were never solved at the bottom of a bottle. The entire time that I drank, I thought that it would make me go to sleep and I would begin to feel better. The truth is that it only made me sick and I still was not getting any sleep.
A councilor may not seem like a great place to start but they can really help. My husband had refused to see one because he said that they hadn’t been through what we had been through. He was right but they also go to school to learn how to help people who have been through tragedies like these.
Don’t worry about what other people might think of you when you crack a smile or seem to be having a good time. I use to worry about what others would say if they caught me going to the movies or eating out but then I realized that people are going to say what they want to say no matter what happens. Smiling is not a bad thing and one day, you will be finding yourself smiling, too.
