Peggy Hill, of the Fox Network show “King of Hill”, is one of my favorite women on TV. The wife of Hank Hill and mom to Bobby Hill gives her audience little pearls of wisdom every time she opens her month. Some people don’t like her because she believes herself to be superior to everyone else is an incredibly ignorant egomaniac, but to me she has an endearing quality about her that makes me like her in spite of her obvious faults. She deeply loves her husband, Hank, and her son, Bobby. Peggy extended her love as she took in her niece, Luanne. She has made a project of turning Luanne into a young lady. Who can’t help but like a woman that thinks she can accomplish anything her heart desires even if she has no knowledge or skill to back it up?
I have found some of my favorite Peggy Hill quotes. I hope you get a good laugh as you replay in your mind your favorite King of the Hill episodes.
“Hank, I just got my first musing: My husband calls me his better half because I “better half” dinner on the table when he gets home!”
Peggy: What if I’m not as smart as I always thought. What if I’m… average?
Hank: Peggy, you have an IQ of 175. You said so yourself.
Peggy: Well, there could be a margin of error. Especially since it’s my own estimate.
“Hank, the day after Thanksgiving is, in my opinion, the biggest shopping day of the year. And I will not spend another year giving Dallas Mavericks crap because the Cowboys stuff was all sold out.”
“They’re always in the last place you look, because once you find them, there’s no reason to keep looking.”
[Hank sighs]
Hank: You’re not dumb. You’re smarter than I am.
Peggy: [crying] Big deal.
Hank: Well, you’re smarter than anyone at Arlen.
Peggy: Well, whoop-dee-doo! I am the smartest hillbilly in Hillbilly Town!
“Most women would be threatened by Betsy, but not me. I don’t care. I’d like to see that guitar come home and chicken fry a steak after substitute teaching all day.
“I have dreamt of this moment ever since I was ages 8 and up.”
“Would you please tell Boomhauer that Swiss cheese is not Mehican, it is American.”
“…So they asked me to teach German, and I said “nein,” which I thought meant yes. But it turns out, “nein” means no. So I blew a big opportunity.”
“If they had a sponge that cleaned up broken dreams, Woolworth’s would still be in business.”
“I just think it would be nice to celebrate his traditions too. Bobby could blow out all the candles on Hanukkah eve and make a wish.”
(as it starts snowing): “Okay, I have been through this before in Montana. Nobody lick any flagpoles.”
(Peggy’s rejected ideas for “musings”:)
– Lots of cookies will make you fat.
– Thank goodness for plexiglass.
– Sunburn, too much of a good thing.
– Nothing is dirt cheap, because dirt is free.
– Give a donkey the chance and he will bite you in the ass.
“My rose-colored glasses are off and the world looks flesh-colored and unappealing.”
“I hope you brought your appetites, because I made spa-Peggy and meatballs!”
“…And the man walked around the world and said to the king, “Sir, I come from France.” Cir-cum-france.”
“Did you even see how cool those other parents were? They look like Chandler and Monica. And look at us, Andy Griffith and Aunt freakin’ Bee!”
