Which is better, Charmin, a product made in Green Bay WI for over 70 years, or the newer Angel Soft? Well, we know which one has the higher advertising budget, or at least the more effective advertising. But does that mean the product is superior? That’s what we will be exploring in this article.
Charmin, a Proctor and Gamble product, for many years was known for the grocer, Mr. Whipple, and his Homeland Security-type measures to keep anyone from “squeezing the Charmin”. In fact, in 1978, Mr. Whipple, played by actor Dick Wilson for more than 20 years and 500 commercials, was the 3rd best known American according to surveys, trailing only President Richard Nixon and Rev. Billy Graham.
Mr. Whipple hung up the apron in 1985. The current advertising campaign for Charmin is called the “Call of Nature” bears. No word on whether the bears actually use Charmin when answering Nature’s call, but they will incur the wrath of singer Sheryl Crow if they use more than one square per outing.
Angel Soft is a product made by Georgia Pacific. Disclaimer: I have a Brother-in-law who works for Georgia Pacific, but his plant makes Dixie Cups, not Angel Soft or any kind of toilet tissue. Angel Soft’s slogan is “comfort where you want it”. Of course that area is one where comfort is at a premium. Either of these products is preferable to the sand paper in most public bathrooms.
Both Charmin and Angel Soft are made from “virgin fiber”, (insert your own joke here), meaning they are not made from recycled paper. That’s a relief. Both are safe for standard sewage systems. Good. We wouldn’t want any “Meet the Parents” wedding scene moments, at least most of us. Here are the main differences in the two products:
Angel Soft contains no pulp fiber and no additives, unlike most types of Charmin, which contain scents, lotions, and the like. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like scents, bells, whistles, lotions, etc. In fact, Charmin must contain something I am allergic to, as it always seems to cause a rash for me. Angel Soft is “soft, but not too soft” as the slogan goes. It contains no additives, but is much softer than public restroom toilet paper. Angel Soft typically comes in plain white, except for the “pretty prints”, which I don’t care for.
Angel Soft makes a Mega Roll, containing 396 sheets, which means Sheryl Crow could get 396 uses, if the pop songstress practices what she preaches. Crow’s recent directive to use only one square per use is reminiscent of the Seinfeld episode in which Elaine asks Jami Gertz in the next stall if she can “spare a square” when her own stall was out, only to be rebuffed. Just don’t shake her hand, thank you. There is a double roll, 198 count.
Of course, neither brand comes with a guarantee that the guy in the next stall will honor the time honored custom of the “courtesy flush”, but many public restrooms are offering the automatic flushers, one of the best inventions of recent years. Much better than a bathroom attendant, as attested to by CP Jack Oceano in a recent article.
I once got caught on the “back nine” of a golf course when nature called, far from the restroom and I was walking to boot, and had to use a discarded golf glove in a wooded area. While I would use Charmin in such a pinch, I much prefer Angel Soft. All kidding aside, I believe Angel Soft to be the better product. Charmin might be nicer to squeeze, but when it comes to practical uses, go with Angel Soft.
