Do you remember getting out of class hopeful for lunch, your only freedom during school, and then feeling shattered when you see what’s on the menu for the day? This article chronicles the 10 worst school lunches that I’ve experienced or heard of across a wide variety of 5 different schools in Saginaw, Michigan. I have based the lunches on taste, appearance, texture, creativity, and amount of objects found in the food.
1) Goulash
This school lunch is number one for a score of reasons. First, why in the world would you name a meal at school Goo-lash? Second, it has a terrible taste to it, like recycled leftovers. Third, it’s the definition of mystery meat in a bowl in terms of appearance, like someone put a lunch in a blender. Caution, do not eat this lunch!
2) Burrito in a Bag
A noble effort on the part of the school to offer a burrito but this thing isn’t a burrito. The meat looks like decomposing feces and the bread is similar to hardened pita bread. Lastly, I wasn’t even filled up after I ate this meal.
3) Baked Potato
Seriously, what kid wants a baked potato for lunch? Sure it’s not bad for dinner with corn and steak, but with fake cheese spread on top? Terrible. On top of that, baked potatoes never look appetizing and school lunch makes it worse.
4) Egg Salad Sandwich
What do you get when you combine C-grade eggs, celery, bad bread, refrigeration, and mystery filling? An egg salad sandwich. Not a good idea to eat and I have found hair in them. The only reason this isn’t #1 is because of the few good ones and the fact that I enjoy a good sandwich, just not from school.
5) Turkey Deli
No one wants a cold turkey deli sandwich for lunch when they could bring one form home. Honestly, it’s called “hot lunch” for a reason. The sandwiches look plain, taste bland, and are altogether too mediocre.
6) Grilled Cheese in a Bag
Fortunately I haven’t had to endure this meal but I have heard stories of its revolting qualities. Let’s face it, anything in a bag is destined not to be good and grilled cheese was never meant to be bagged.
7) Hamburger/Cheeseburger
It hurts me when the school makes the burger. A meal so dear to my heart is turned into a bitter gruel. Come one, what do they use in their meat, circus animals?
8) Cheese Crust Pizza
The word that comes to mind here is disappointing. Kids want real, greasy, delicious pizza not the stuff that’s served in the lunch line. It’s a cardboard mockery of pizza with cheese in the crust that supposedly makes it better. I don’t think so.
9) Tuna Sandwich
Bad idea all around. They are cold and leave you with horrid breath as a parting gift. Even the good ones are never as good as homemade tuna.
10) Salad
Never satisfying enough, the salads can vary but all of them are just not enough. One school I went to even used shredded lettuce and another served wilted lettuce in their salads. Please, maybe I would get one if I was on a diet.
