The best man is a key player in any wedding party. A man’s designation as best man means that he has been chosen, in part because he can responsibly handle a variety of wedding associated tasks and generally assist the bride and groom as they make their way through the wedding. The job of best man is often given to a close family member or a best friend. As a young man you may have only one or two occasions in your life when you are honored by being selected as a best man. Using this wedding guide for the best man may help you to complete that role and enjoy it as well.
1. Continue being you. Any wedding guide for the best man should begin with some common sense advice. You were chosen by the groom to be the best man because of all the other men he knows you are the one he wants next to him during this most important event in his life. He chose you because of the special relationship and bond that you have built over the years either as family or as friends. He wants you as best man because of who you are to him. The best gift that any best man can give to his friend, the groom, is to continue being that person throughout the wedding event. Don’t try to change who you are, just be yourself, it was you, as you are, who was chosen, and that’s who the groom is depending upon to show up and be there for him. He needs you.
2. The Bachelor party. Customarily the best man makes the arrangements for some type of bachelor’s party some weeks or days prior to the wedding ceremony. The best man has a special connection to the groom and via that connection the best man should be able to determine the kind of all male party or event that the groom would most enjoy. Not every bachelor party must involve scantily clad women and barrels of alcohol. The best man can determine that a better way to celebrate is to gather friends and shoot a round of golf and then enjoy an informal meal together. Any wedding guide for the best man would also agree that you can celebrate by going to a casino or spending a night at a Major League ball game. There are no laws about bachelor parties. They need only to be fun and well received by the groom. Any other participants are there to celebrate with the groom not to determine the way the celebration should be handled. Pleasing the groom is the sole requirement the best man must consider when arranging a bachelor party.
3. Leader of the pack. The best man’s job includes directing the male members of the wedding party. This means, in part, keeping all of the men tuned in to the times and places where their presence is required. The best man also makes sure that the male members of the wedding party know what to wear, where to sit and what to do. According to any wedding guide for the best man his role is to be the go to guy for the rest of the guys. To do this job well of course the best man must be prepared to take direction from the groom or the wedding coordinator.
An understated part of the job of the best man is that he is expected to set an example of proper decorum for the rest of the men in the wedding party. The good manners of the best man become the standard for the behavior of all. Being the best man means that you have officially become the model for every other male member of the wedding party. If you have questions in any case about what is appropriate make sure to ask the wedding coordinator .
4. Assisting the groom. In most wedding ceremonies the best man stands aside of the groom and often hands him the wedding ring or rings. The job, while simple on the face of it, also means waiting with the groom before the ceremony begins and helping to keep him relaxed and under control. That can mean getting him a cup of water, telling him a joke or just supporting him in his “hour of need”. Prior to and during the ceremony the wedding guide for the best man says to simply be there for the groom.
5.The toast. Some best men relish the prospect of having an open microphone and a captive audience , while others cringe at the idea of having to speak in public under any conditions. Either way, the job of offering the wedding toast more often then not falls to and on the best man. Any wedding guide for the best man could summarize how the best man needs to handle this responsibility. Be brief, be sincere, and be done.
As you plan your wedding toast you should consider what the purpose of the toast really is. The best man is not giving the toast as a professional entertainer. He is not there to present the life story of the groom. The job of the best man in giving the toast is to bring those assembled together in a single wish of good health, good fortune and a wonderful life together to the bride and groom . Anything beyond that simply is window dressing and if dragged out too long can even become mildly annoying . The best man needs only to put his task in perspective and he should be able to manage the few words that this actual function really demands.
6. The send off. Frequently the best man will be given special responsibilities even after the wedding is over. A ride to the airport, someone to return rentals, a trusted person to take charge of wedding gifts, these and many more incidental chores can go directly onto the plate of the best man. . Whatever the tasks may be, the best man will have the least difficulty if he gets a detailed and time oriented picture of his duties in advance when the couple is relaxed and can think straight. Still remember, this is a wedding and the bride and groom may come unhinged from reality at any time. The best man’s best plan is to be prepared to be totally available and totally flexible.
Being the best man is an honor, one that you may only receive once or twice in your life time. It can be demanding. Keeping your affection for the bride and groom and this wedding guide for the best man in mind can help you to do the job you know you want to do.
