A recent boom in parenting studies was largely initiated by Dr. Sears- pediatrician and author of more than 30 children’s books. The main principles are that the baby is always held by you, usually in a sling, the baby sleeps with you, almost forever, breastfeeding until lethargy, and avoiding frequent separation from the baby, among others. Depending on how hard-hearted the parent’s feelings are, this can include homebirthing, homeschooling, breastfeeding the child until school age, and the whole face of the parent’s (read: mother’s) life being about the baby.
A whole lot? I thought so. It’s easy to get hooked on the attachment to parenting as a new mother, just because you’ve been told that a loving parent is the only good parent. Just with affection, I will tell you self-supporters, there is only one way a truly godly parent will go. So what does parenting feel like?
Attachment parenting involves baby wearing- the front sling is worn with the newborn, baby or toddler in it; the parent (well, the mother) will use this especially on the day whenever she is not holding the baby. In a casual game, Dr. Sears markets and sells their baby slings. A baby can sling women (goodbye, only one) who loved it and found it easy and convenient. But after at least two baby-carriers”>bayas were recalled due to defects that cause babies to fall out of them, I opted for the next best thing. a baby carrierdo not have the aforementioned babies and strollers. Does he who hates a bad parent do this? According to several AP supporters, yes it has.
Many AP parenting books suggest doing whatever the baby or toddler wants, plain and simple. If you don’t do this, you are a bad parent. You don’t want a boy shot? So don’t shoot them, there are many AP parents who do this. What if you had an emergency C-section and didn’t hold the baby right away? It’s your fault. The baby is three days and you are already a bad parent. Dr. Sears is quoted as saying, “After maternal surgery energy healing wounds are reversed as maternal. baby.” Take it. What if you have an incredible abundance problem, or you just can’t find a way to fit it into your life? Yep- bad parenting.
If you say something about the type of parents not working for you, it must be said that you don’t have to love your child as much as they do. Why would anyone tell their mother this, and why do women allow themselves to be convinced that this is right for them? Because women are too quick to tell their parents. I believe they don’t trust their instincts enough, and society simply doesn’t value them much. Mothers who go on the AP journey are expected to leave almost nothing in life that does not involve a baby. That includes friends (avoid separations), talking on the phone (don’t do it if the baby doesn’t like it – the kid doesn’t), eating dinner by himself (if the baby wants it, he needs to be hungry; that’s up to him) or even his marriage (says Dr. Sears, if you want familiarity, leave bed- baby your bed and you have to leave it). If you’ve seen how it works in a practical sense, it can really get absurd at times.
The guiding principle of AP is to do what the child wants and needs. This includes snacks, meals, play time, training, etc. This means almost discipline (what does the child want?). This also means disrupting all your family activities so that the children can take the lead. In many cases, yes, I believe it is important, but after seeing the AP parents require great events – including funerals – for the sake of the child< /a > the schedule could not be interrupted, I am convinced that in many cases this would be both impractical and even obtrusive. Children learn that sometimes the world does not revolve around them. I am not saying that mothers want to do everything at the expense of their child, only that in many cases they cannot. What if the pregnant sling does not carry the baby? What if you are trying to remove two or more children at the same time via AP? In my experience, neither of these can be done, and it’s not fair or ethical to tell a mother that if she can’t do it, she’s a bad parent.
Many parents often say that the doctor’s affection is that mothers who do not practice it, either do not love their child enough, or are too ambitious. But from what I have seen myself, it is often the child who suffers because of this, unable to control his impulses, unwilling to consider the needs of others, and unable to learn self-control. After the baby has passed the baby and first toddler stage, the AP in particular terms generally makes a child like you. But motherhood is not about the beloved. It is often in particular to have hatred, and to have confidence and courage to handle it, which is consistent with persevering.
The great promise I believed from Dr. Sears’ was a book that instilled in children that they are not “properly attached” to their parents, and that AP does not cause clinginess – it actually gives them the confidence to be independent. I’m sure there are children who respond this way, just as I’m sure there are families where AP works well and is effective. But in my experience, AP has led to such extreme persistence that I have no self-confidence to participate in any work. This got so bad that I simply had to end the habit. Does this make me a bad parent? Not far off. And I don’t allow others to say that he does, or that I don’t love my children as much as they do. And no one else.
Women must have the self-confidence and backbone to know that they can be good and effective mothers without doing things that go against their instincts and feelings. We believe that this is the type of women, when women attack each other because of the type of parents or even because they do not have the same type of baby gearand they do. It is a flow of tension as much as a massage. I never saw a father with a baby in a sling, and I never saw a father chastise someone who wasn’t dressed, or go out to the kitchen without the baby. If we all try to find out why that is, perhaps a better dialogue can be established to address the very reason why endless maternal competition exists in the first place.
