Whether you are a male or female, you may have had the experience of working for a female boss. Having the experience myself, I know that it is an experience that can be trying at times. Working for a female superior doesn’t always have to be a difficult one; it can be an excellent experience. I have worked for, and currently work for a great female boss. I have observed that there are some notable differences between a good female superior and a difficult one. (Also, I also recognize that there can also be difficult male superiors, but I have chosen to focus this article on female superiors due to the differences in my experiences.)
We are all aware that males and females are different by nature, and this is also the case in the work place as well. I have had this discussion with several of my female colleagues, and they have agreed that, in general, it is more difficult to work for women than men. I think them main differences that distinguish most men from women, do the same in the work place. For the most part, women are generally described as investing more time in relationships versus process and outcome. Men tend to focus on outcome and making changes; men are “fixers”. Women look at the relationships involved in making change and how the relationships will unfold after the outcome; women are “relational”. Now, this does not imply that this holds true for ALL men or ALL women. Nor does it imply that all men and women are the same in different environments.
From my experience, women want to process the situation and the feelings that go along with the process. They are often interested in how things “make us feel”, and “why”. Men, on the other hand, often are interested “how things work”, and “how we can change things”; less time seems to be focused on personal issues and why things make us feel the way we do. I also think that relationships with female superiors are different because women tend to share more details about personal lives than men. Men often do tend to share personal details, but they appear to focus on more superficial, less intimate details. While there are differences in the boundaries that males and females have (think discussing mother-in-law, vs. discussing your new boat), that does not mean that one is better or worse than the other; only different. Women seek to relate to one another based on relationship sharing, while men seem to do the same by experience sharing.
From my experience, it also seems that women who supervise, as well as those that are supervised, tend to feel threatened by one another. As professional women, we should try and unite and work together. I think any female would recognize that being in the workforce is difficult enough for women, so we should seek to support each other, and not cut each other down. Think of the experience as having the opportunity to learn from all of the experiences you have, and support each others’ successes. We all have the ability to be successful, we just need a little support and understanding along the way.
Tips for Working Successfully With Other Women:
– Keep excellent boundaries. This doesn’t mean you can’t share personal information; just make sure it isn’t “intimate” in detail.
– Listen to your other female colleagues and offer understanding when you can.
– Support other female colleagues, listen to their ideas, and offer suggestions.
– Try and keep family life private; sharing certain details about yor family is appropriate, but try and keep marital squabbles, mother-in-law disputes, and other issues low-key or nonexistant.
– Remain professional at all times. Try and keep your cool, and always keep water-cooler gossip to a minimum.
