You are right in the middle of preparations for one of the biggest days in the life of your sister, or your best friend. Her wedding day is approaching and you have so many things you are trying to organize and plan that you can hardly sleep at night. Suddenly it hits you that you need to give a speech at the reception. You have the responsibility of writing the maid of honor speech. What are you going to say?
It doesn’t matter whether you are comfortable speaking in front of people or not, the task of giving a maid (or matron) of honor speech is daunting. Should you try to get the crowd to laugh or cry? Should you bring up embarrassing stories? Should you write an elaborate speech or try something off-the-cuff? Your list of important things to do just got longer and it isn’t even YOUR wedding day!
Here are some tips to help you make a big impression on everyone there, especially the bride.
Have Notes: Unless you give speeches or motivational talks for a living, you are going to get overwhelmed by the day and by looking at your sister or friend in her beautiful dress sitting next to her new husband. There are few things worse than having to listen to babbling that makes no sense, even if it is well-intentioned. Keep it fairly short and sweet. Don’t forget that you may have also consumed some alcohol by this time. Have fun but don’t embarrass the bride!
Introduce Yourself: Remember that not everyone knows who you are. Although the program will likely have your name and relationship to the bride listed, there are still things left unsaid. Are you her oldest sister or her youngest? Are you her oldest friend or did you meet at work last year? Give everyone a brief introduction and tell them why you love the bride.
Talk About the Couple: Whether you are originally a friend or relative of the bride or the groom, you will know something about them both as a couple. Relate something special about them, talking briefly about how they met. When I was matron of honor for my youngest sister, I wasn’t living in the same state so I didn’t know much about my new brother-in-law except that he made my sister very happy. I knew they had dated and then broke up and got back together a few years later. I mentioned that in the speech briefly and lovingly. She is also the last of four daughters to get married, so I talked about the family finally being complete.
If you don’t have any specific ideas about what to say, talk to the bride and the groom separately and ask them why they love each other, what they saw in the other that made them decide to get married. There is nothing better than surprising them with direct quotes from the other where they are lovingly talking about the other. It is a special thing knowing that your new spouse is speaking of you in glowing terms. The audience will gush.
If you want to tell a funny or romantic story, make sure to keep it fairly short and to the point. Too many details will bore the audience, especially if they don’t know the couple very well.
Speak Fondly of Marriage: You are there because two people were joined in holy matrimony, so give a piece of advice, or recite a quote, a Bible verse, or a poem about love or marriage. If you have a great family story of long-lasting marriage you might tell that story (i.e. your grandparents were lost to each other for a time and reunited or they have been married for more than 50 years and are still in love).
Toast the Happy Couple: Do not forget this part! Be sure to have a glass of something in front of you to raise in honor of the bride and groom. Wish the couple happiness and good fortune for the future and thank them for sharing this day with you and the rest of the reception.
Ask For Advice: There are a few people you need at least a little help from. The first is the bride. While you may want to keep most of the speech a surprise, make certain to get her okay on any stories that may be too embarrassing for her or her groom. The second is the best man. If you can, take a few minutes in the days before the wedding to run your ideas by him so that you don’t end up saying the exact same things. Finally, enlist the help of one of the other bridesmaids so that you can give your speech out loud to them and get their opinion. Work out the kinks before the day and you will give everyone a memorable experience.
