When things at the office become stale and dreadful, add some zing to your day with a few of these simple office pranks. Your co-workers may come to hate you and your boss may cringe at the site of you lurking around the cubicles but never mind all that, instead fill your day with laughter, even if it is at the expense of someone else.
I worked in an office for a few years and one of the things that go with the territory is office pranks. I received my fair share of practical jokes as well as learned to pull a few of my own. Here are some of my favorite pranks and how you can do them yourself.
Tape, Tape and More Tape
Tape is a fascinating little product. The sky is the limit when it comes to all the sneaky, mischievous things you can do with it to irritate your fellow office slaves. Start your morning routine by placing three strips of tape over the printer where the document is ejected. For most printers this means you will put the strips in a vertical fashion. Your co-workers will yelp in frustration when they see their printed documents jamming up in the printer. I drove our engineer up the wall with this gag. His plotter printer hasn’t been the same since.
Tape the phone down. That’s right, you heard me, tape the phone down. You’ll want to use invisible tape for this and make sure you press the edges down nice and flush. Secretaries in particular hate this and may seek revenge by not giving you your messages but at least you’ll be amused when you see them trying to free the receiver from the cradle and its mess of tape.
If you’re too much of a chicken to tape the phone receiver down, then you might opt for this one. Find some double sided clear tape and place it on the earpiece of the phone. When someone answers the phone their hair and face will become momentarily stuck to the phone.
Double sided tape works on headsets too. I wouldn’t suggest pulling this prank unless you are on your way out the door for good. The idea is to place double sided tape on the underside of the headset. When the headset wearer puts the headset on it will stick to their hair. This works best on people that actually have hair although it is funny when done to someone who’s bald.
Rubber Bands
Rubber bands are like tape; they can be used for nearly everything. You know those plastic mats that a lot of offices have on the floor to help office chairs roll around more smoothly? Well those mats have tiny fingers on the bottom that grip the carpet. Wind a rubber band around the leg of the chair, being sure to do it in a way that it can’t be seen, and then hook the other end of the rubber band on those teeth. That office chair ain’t going anywhere!
Typewriters don’t like rubber bands. If your office is still using electric typewriters try dropping a few very small rubber bands into it. This will keep your typist extremely busy trying to figure out why it won’t work.
Timing is Everything
When it comes to pulling a good prank on someone timing is crucial. The best time to pull a prank on someone is before they get to work. If you are able to get inside the building before your co-workers this is the time to plan your attack.
Try to be the first person to log the computers on. Use the screensaver that lets you type in a message. Leave your co-workers a little note and then password protect the screensaver. If you’re lucky they’ll be trying forever to remember what password they used.
Be the one to make coffee for the day. But don’t just make coffee, that’s no kind of prank. Try adding an entire bottle of yellow food coloring. The look on the other office worker’s faces will be priceless. Note* I can not guarantee what color the coffee will be. It all depends on the type of coffee you use and how strong it is. For added fun don’t use coffee grounds at all.
Gopher Guts
Be brave. If you’re the office gopher liven up your tasks with a few practical jokes. When your accountant asks you to fetch them a Danish, add a side of canned Alpo dog food to the plate. Don’t be a wuss; sneak some cayenne pepper into that Pepsi.
Furniture is Movable
When the other office victims, umm, workers, are either out of the office for the day or gone to lunch move all the furniture in their cubicle/office to another room or even better outside.
Computer Pranks
Give the entire office a virus. Not really, just make them think it’s so. Sneak into the computer tech’s office; use his or her computer to send a memo to the entire staff telling them that the office has a computer virus that is activated by typing the letter “B” on the keyboard. Instruct all staff members to stay away from the letter “B” for the entire day. Sit back and wait for everyone to catch on and accuse the computer tech of being an idiot.
Sabotage the mouse. This is an easy one. All you have to do is remove the trackball from someone’s mouse and watch as they get frustrated and confused as to why their mouse won’t work. When they run off to notify someone simply put the trackball back. Then when they return inquire about what’s wrong and test the mouse yourself. It’s worth the effort when you see their reaction.
When a co-worker takes a break, reboot their computer into safe mode with dos prompt. On the computer screen type, “Format C:” then unplug their keyboard and mouse just enough that they still appear to be plugged in but don’t function. Watch the panic set in when they return to find they can’t use their keyboard or mouse.
Change all the labels on archived data CDs to say Porn.
Miscellaneous Pranks
Use a sewing needle to poke a hole through the bottoms of as many paper cups as you can while they are stacked together. Every cup will dribble just a little. Try to poke through about 50 cups if you can.
Find the co-worker that likes to slip their shoes off during the day. When they aren’t looking swipe them and hide them in the freezer of the company fridge.
For the employee that parks in the same place every day; steal their keys and move their car over 1 space. Repeat this every day until their car is moved across the parking lot.
Switch the coffee in the coffee pot to decaf or visa versa depending on what kind of coffee everyone drinks.
Put yellow food coloring in the water cooler. The water will look like pee.
Take the ink cylinder out of all the pens in the entire office and refuse to work until you have a pen to write with.
Give one of your worker’s phone numbers out as the fax number every day for a week. Eventually they’ll get tired of hearing that high pitched screeching noise as it tries to come through.
Remove the contents of a co-worker’s drawers. Do this to all of them. Then put all the items back but in different drawers.
Rules of Pranking
There are some do’s and don’ts of pulling office pranks. Heed this warning carefully if you want to keep your job.
Only pull pranks on people you like or are on good terms with. Pranking someone you don’t like can get you in trouble for harassment.
Sexual insinuations are a no go. Don’t ever do them not even if your co-worker is a transsexual cross-dressing transvestite with bigger tits than Pamela Anderson.
Keep safety in mind. Never pull a prank that violates good safety measures or can cause bodily harm.
Do not damage office property. Vandalism is not usually taken lightly.
