Having children can be one of the most important roles and rewards in a person’s life. Working with children, especially children who are not your own, can also be rewarding, but the demands are very different from that of a parent, especially when dealing with difficult children.
Young children, from three to seven years of age, develop a sense of social interaction, right versus wrong, and in the process develop their own strong personality. Some children will act violently with certain people, events or situations. Whether you are a daycare worker, a nanny, or a teacher, dealing with a violent child who is not your own can be increasingly frustrating and difficult. Articulating and analyzing the situation in depth are important parts of both helping children learn appropriate movements and making your classroom/work environment a safe place for both you and others children in your care
The most important part of dealing with a violent child, especially from the ages of three to seven, is to analyze the situations in which the child acts violently. Is it frequent and with which no trigger seems like, or is it more moderate and definable? Some children behave violently when they do not get what they want, when they feel that someone is inferior, or that they are not discriminated against for any reason. It is important to determine what factors you think lead to violence. The next step is to ask the child why he is behaving violently. When asking a child, especially younger children who are not yet able to fully verbalize their feelings, it is very specific. Don’t just ask “Why did you do this?” The question is “why slap Tommy in the face?” Many children may not be able to give you a real reason, but the words they use can help analyze the triggers for violent behavior.
Beyond the reasons behind violent actions, it is important to know how a violent child acts. Do you see pain? Do they seem confused? For the pregnant woman is just the most important layer. A child feeling guilty after being abused obviously knows right from wrong, but has forgotten in the middle of the trigger. A child who walks happily does not yet understand that his actions are not good. Connect what you observed as triggers with their behavior after the fact.
Although many children after the age of three and four know the difference between right and wrong in many situations, they are still young and prone to make up their own minds and to follow knowledge or reasoning. They always emphasize that display of power is never good—no matter the circumstances. Although they may already have this knowledge, it only helps them remember by reinforcing it.
One of the most difficult things about working with children is that you simply do not know how the child is treated or behaves at home. Try to find out about both the situation and the home by talking to the parents. Try to examine their behavior through that lens. Violent children can come from very stable homes, but sometimes things in home life can also act as triggers for these violent behaviors they are in your care. If you know what’s going on at home, you can avoid some triggers or know how to handle the situation better and reinforce the fact that violent actions are not okay.
There is a huge problem with society as a whole taking responsibility for its mistakes. It is very important that the child knows that he is responsible for his actions. The child must accept responsibility for violent outbursts. Many children will have the excuse that “he did it” or “he did it first”, but always emphasize to the child that they are responsible for making the right decision. Keep other children out of the conversation. By making excuses, the child accepts responsibility for the violent behavior. Always make sure the child apologizes for their actions if they are committed to someone else.
One of the hardest things about violent children is controlling their violent reaction in the first place. After analyzing the triggers, see if there is a way to eliminate or at least reduce the occurrence of these triggers. If there is a child, we encourage them to play separately from each other. If there is a specific position, find out how it relates to the offspring. If possible, remove the child from the situation.
When a child becomes aggressive about their activities, make sure to shake their behavior. Some children will listen better if you are very strict and firm. But some violent children only become more violent when confronted. Make sure you know how you handle the situation and in turn how the child reacts. By knowing what is best for a particular child, he or she will have a better chance of escaping violent behavior.
An experiment on punishments. Some children respond well to staying, some do not. Some children respond well to reward system, some just become more aggressive and violent. It is unfortunate that no one has a clever way of working; you have trial and error. Once you find a punishment that the child both understands and responds to in a positive way (that lessens or lessens the severity of his violent episodes), stick with it and make it tough. It is really important, especially in the case of violence that can arise both now and later in life, to be consistent and firm.
Especially when teaching or journalism, where you work with these children several times a week, it is so incredibly important to communicate with parents. Don’t accuse the child of being violent, but take care of your voice instead. Work with them in the hope that as two separate entities you can come up with good solutions, penalties or ideas. If you find something that really works, encourage parents to stay home. Most parents will be incredibly accommodating and happy to know that you care enough for their child to prove your seriousness. help them break such damaging behavior.
In the end, all children are so very different that there is no sure fire way to deal with violent children. The best tools you have are your knowledge, logic and reason, as well as patience, flexibility and communication. Be analytical, firm, and know your limits. If you feel that the child is beyond your control, make sure to speak to the parents or to those who hold a position in your office. The only other thing you can do is to help children break their violent behavior while keeping yourself and the other children involved as safe as possible .
