I’ve never much liked Tyra Banks. It was always something I couldn’t put my finger on. One day I came to the conclusion that I felt that she was very judgmental, which is a trait that I can’t stand in someone’s character. I can’t remember what day it was or what exactly it was that prompted the feeling, but I do remember feeling vindicated when Khloe Kardashian echoed my thoughts on an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. This was the episode where they showed Kim going on the Tyra Banks Show to talk about the leaked sex tape she participated in with an ex-boyfriend. Khloe was saying that she was nervous for her sister Kim, not only because of the subject matter she was being basically forced by the media to address, but also because Tyra had a tendency to be judgmental. Although I believe one should take responsibility for their actions, I also find it to be a bit hypocritical to have someone apologize for something they did that was never meant to become public. To me, the kind of person who would leak such a video (or photos) of someone’s most intimate moments that was meant to only be seen by the people involved, is just pure trash to me. They are the ones who have really done something that is shameful. How can someone walk around, knowing that they had a hand in creating a horrible time in someone else’s life? And for what? Money? But this is not how the majority sees it, so if a woman wants to save her career and not be seen as a total tramp, she must apologize for her “mistake”. Kim Kardashian is visibly uncomfortable and embarrassed about having to discuss this topic on Tyra’s show. She explains one of the toughest parts for her, which had been trying to find a way to explain it to her younger sisters and teaching them “what not to do.” Tyra says next, with this horribly patronizing, snobby tone, “Not to do what, not to have sex and tape it?” Whether or not Tyra meant for it to come out sounding that way, that’s the way it came across. (Click here to see it. I’m not sure if I can do it justice.) Kim seems taken aback, and after an awkward pause she answers, “…Basically.”
We all make choices in life. Kim made the choice to film a private act with someone she loved and expected it to be kept private. Unfortunately, it wasn’t kept private. And in the Internet age, people are slowly but surely learning that almost nothing can be kept private anymore. Or you at least have to take much stronger precautions to keep it private. Is it morally wrong for Kim, as a consenting adult, to choose to make this film with someone she cared deeply for? No, it isn’t. But it seems that it’s morally wrong as a woman in the public eye, because young girls are looking up to her and hearing about this. What are we so afraid of? This is exactly what we’re afraid of: A young 14-year-old girl that has low self-esteem and is unable to think for herself might think what Kim did was cool and go off and make their own tape with their 20-year-old boyfriend because they think it will make him love her more. Yes, this is undoubtedly scary. But can we really blame Kim Kardashian for this? It’s tricky. Because of course we want to. But there’s absolutely no logic behind it. In reality, had this private tape never been leaked by someone (who still remains anonymous) who wanted a quick buck then I wouldn’t be writing about this and this topic wouldn’t be an issue.
Now, what about the people who actually enjoy making these types of films for the purpose of others to see? We usually call them Porn Stars, but Adult Film Actor is probably the more PC term. There are many reasons why people are against pornography in general. Some of them may be: It makes them uncomfortable. Maybe they believe that the films don’t portray sex in a realistic or positive light. I believe most people don’t like it because they believe the women (and men) are harming themselves and they are being used and exploited. There is absolutely nothing wrong with these opinions. Nobody has to like anything. And I do believe wholeheartedly that many women have been exploited and used in this business and have felt like they had been forced into it for one reason or another. But what about the women who say it is a choice that they made?
Fortunately, we now live in a time in the United States where women have choices. We have the right to choose when to get pregnant (whether it be through birth control, abstinence or legal abortion). We can choose to go out and get a job without having to depend on a man to take care of us. Or we can choose to run a home for our children and partner while our partner supports us financially. The point is, these decisions can be made and these choices executed without our society having a complete fit. (Fits may be had by certain groups of people, but in general these choices are acceptable and attainable.) In a time where women have the choice, and the power and ability, to do what they want, shouldn’t a woman be able to create these films and enjoy doing them?
This brings me to the interview with adult film star Sasha Grey on the Tyra Banks Show. (Originally aired February 8, 2007 when Sasha was 18. The episode is called “Teens in the Sex Trade”.) I didn’t really like how it went down. The montage at the start of the show has Tyra asking, “Why porn?”
“It feels good!” Sasha proclaims. The question and answer exchanged between the two are obviously smash cut, and I never see it again throughout any of the interview. If it’s there and I missed it, then someone let me know. I’ll bet you anything Sasha’s response is in answer to a question about foot rubs that was taken completely out of context.
Tyra spoke to Sasha in this exaggerated, patronizing tone the entire length of the episode. Like Sasha was a victimized, naive child who just didn’t know any better. But Sasha is an adult and I believe the interview should have been conducted with the respect and professionalism Tyra would have given anyone else who she was trying to look smart in front of.
Sasha Grey did put herself in this position by choosing to go on the Tyra Banks Show. Unfortunately, according to Sasha, the end results of the show after editing did not reflect the entire show or her opinions that she expressed. (Click here for Sasha’s response.) Tyra tells Sasha on more than one occasion that she reminds her of a girl she had gone to middle school with. This is supposed to make everything seem all the more disturbing to the viewer. It’s a little hard to believe Tyra as she tries to be so earnest with her comments that make her appear shocked and disturbed by the things Sasha is telling her. Maybe Tyra really is shocked. But it doesn’t seem genuine to me. It feels contrived.
Sasha didn’t get much airtime to retort the comments by both Tyra and an ex-porn star that spat out angry comments that seemed more to do with anger and shame over her own past than looking objectively at Sasha’s situation. After being accused of saying that she was in a “sex-positive” business by this ex-adult film actress, Sasha responds, “I didn’t say that I’m in a business that is sexually positive, I said I try to do it in a sex positive way. Those are things I chose to do…”
Sasha did come across as “cold and distant”. (Tyra tells her this.) She came across as a “silly” teenager who sat paralyzed in her chair with nothing to say. I’ve never seen or read another interview where Sasha came across this way. Her boyfriend Ian came across as a fumbling idiot. (However, he reminded me of myself. He seemed really shy and nervous but appeared to be trying extra hard not be for his girlfriend’s cause. I don’t believe he is anything like this the majority of the time. He seems like a nice guy.) Tyra asks him what his family thinks about him dating a porn star. “They’re fine,” he tells her.
“Your mother is ok with this?” Tyra asks.
“My mother is a very progressive woman,” he says. To which Tyra responds, “My mother is progressive too, but if I were with a porn star she wouldn’t be too happy with that.” Ian kind of throws up his hands and shrugs his shoulders. He looks as if he’s been defeated and probably feels bad that he let Sasha down. But Sasha just turns to Tyra and shows how protective she is of her boyfriend. “Everyone’s different, everyone has their different opinions,” she tells Tyra.
Most definitely,” Tyra responds as if she’s telling a 2-year-old that potty training sure is tough.
I’m also disappointed that Dr. Drew came on the show to rattle off statistics. I couldn’t help but think of the psychologists that attorneys hire to speak on the behalf of violent criminals during court hearings and trials. You pay them enough money, they’ll come up with something that will sound good for the defense’s case. Case in point: When the ex-porn star tells Sasha, “What you’re physically doing to your body, by the time you’re 30-years-old you’re going to be wearing a diaper. Because you’re not going to be able to hold in your bodily fluids.” Sasha smiles politely and lets her know this isn’t true. “Dr. Drew!” Tyra calls out like a little girl, “Tell us! He’s a doctor.” Dr. Drew says, “If she doesn’t get prolapsed of those organs then yes she’ll be wearing a diaper.” Prolapsed organs are sometimes the result of a complicated pregnancy. Sexually, I would imagine forced sex and repeated rape would most likely cause this to happen to women. Not consensual sex. But feel free to let me know if I’m wrong.
Yes, there are plenty of women in the adult film industry who are in it for the wrong reasons. In this industry, it’s extremely easy to become a victim and be exploited. And it’s especially hard when someone wants to leave the business, because everything they have done is still documented for the world to see. If you don’t do your homework, it’s a dangerous business to be a part of. It’s always heartbreaking and sad when someone is mistreated and taken advantage of. It’s damaging to the soul to do something repeatedly that causes you any kind of pain. And Sasha agrees with this: “The acts I perform are always consensual. I am a woman who strongly believes in what she does – it is time that our society comes to grips with the fact that ‘normal’ people (women especially) enjoy perverse sex. I hope to inspire people from all walks of life, and to collaborate with innovative individuals (bohemians welcome). Many people mistake this thought and believe that I desire all women to do porn and f*** like rabbits, ignoring all health risks. This is not what I preach or believe. Like any business, I take risks in my profession. Anyone considering porn as a career should be fully aware of these risks before jumping in.” I, myself, could never do what she does. And the majority of women I know feel the same way. But we (at least the women I associate myself with) would never judge someone who chooses to do this. Does this make what Sasha and other adult actresses do wrong or immoral?
This brings me to the other guest on the show, a 16-year-old named Victoria who turned to prostitution at the age of 14. The interviews with her are odd and sad and make we wonder how they could compare a child performing illegal acts to a legal adult doing something that is not against the law. Victoria talks about how at first she wanted the money to buy accessories and clothes, but when she started using cocaine then that’s where they money went. It makes me concerned about the materialism that has spiked in young girls. Always feeling like they need the right outfits and shoes. Is this an obsession girls (and women) have that is actually covering up a deeper issue? The desire to make yourself look perfect instead of trying to work on who you are on the inside? Don’t get me wrong, I like buying nice clothes and pretty things. I like to look nice and get my nails done. But I find it odd when someone’s entire life is consumed by these desires.
Which brings me to the modeling industry. Tyra always talks about being a young model and being told to lose weight. Her decision was always to stay who she was and not to conform to these unattainable standards of beauty. She had a great career as a Victoria’s Secret model. She has said they were the only company she worked for who never told her to lose weight. Today, Tyra works on trying to change the modeling industry and put a more positive light on it. Hmmm, sound familiar? Sasha says on her MySpace, “Despite the controversy that surrounds [the adult film] industry, I felt I could ultimately bring an enigmatic quality to it. I decided that if my instinct continued to push me toward the reality of this…I would seize the opportunity on my own. I began my research…making my decision absolute in October 2005. On April 17th, 2006 I moved to LA, got tested at AIM and found an agent.”
But Sasha has proven she has control of what she’s doing:
Sasha is featured as part of the artwork for The Smashing Pumpkins 2007 album Zeitgeist
She has modeled for Manoukian clothing (owned by Max Azria)
She has also posed for American Apparel
Steven Soderbergh (director and Academy Award winner for films Erin Brokovitch and Traffic) has cast Sasha in his project entitled The Girlfriend Experience. I found a clip from the 2009 Sundance Film Festival during a Question and Answer session with Soderbergh after The Girlfriend Experience was shown. When asked why he cast Sasha Grey, he says, “I read about Sasha in an article in Los Angeles Magazine a couple years ago. And I’d never really heard anybody in the porn industry talk about the industry the way she did, and [the reasons she gave as to] why she wanted to go into [the adult film industry]. So when the idea for this movie came about, I contacted her and we sat down and talked. I sort of described the way that we work on these things and I said, ‘Would this be interesting for you?’ Because I wanted someone…there’s a…even though the film’s not very explicit, there’s a comfort level that she obviously has from making all of those films that I think is difficult to fake. It was kind of an attitude. And she said, ‘Look, I want to try it and see what happens.'”
If we dismiss someone and/or their opinions and ideas because of what they do or who they are, then we’re blocking out entire realms of thought and possibility. You don’t have to agree with what someone else does. But as long as no one is being hurt, then I will never be able to understand what the issue is. When someone enjoys something that doesn’t hurt someone else, should they be conditioned to dislike it just because that’s how the majority of the people feel?
At the end of the show, Tyra lets us know, “The lifestyle that we talked about today is not something I condone at all.” Really Tyra? Wow, I’m glad you cleared that up.
All in all, porn stars, as well as supermodels, are going to need to fight extra hard to be taken seriously.
Who do you think has won in this case?
But don’t listen to me. Decide for yourself! This is why we have brains. These are some interesting links to help keep you well-rounded:
A Feminist Defense of Pornography
Feminists for Free Expression
Shelly Lubben
A Former Sex Worker’s Blog
Anti-Pornography Blog
An Article by Nina Hartley
Victims of Pornography
An interview with ex-porn star Sierra Sinn
The Price of Pleasure
Association of Sites Advocating Child Protection
Defending Porn
Sasha Grey Speaks Out
This Tyra Banks episode on YouTube has annotations from the Anti-Pornography blog. Please be warned, some of the annotations are quite graphic.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
